Wyoming Veterans Remember The True Military Heroes Who Never Came Back

CHEYENNE — Bill Parr sits on his 2017 Indian Roadmaster touring bike, seemingly oblivious in his black leather jacket to the warm sun growing hotter.

With his head down almost as if in prayer, hundreds of simple white marble headstones roll out in front of him, almost like a solemn carpet, each with a newly placed small American flag at the right corner of the stone.

That under each stone is buried an American armed forces veteran is why the local resident and independent “Freedom Rider” was there on Memorial Day at the Cheyenne National Cemetery.

A Navy man who retired as a chief after 22 years of service, Parr said he wasn’t there for a particular veteran or comrade he served with.

“I’m here for everybody,” he said. “I remember everybody we’ve lost in every war that ever was.

“But mostly, you know, I think about my people — the ones in ’Nam.”

Vietnam was Parr’s war when he enlisted in 1969 at age 18. He was quickly sent overseas and served two tours on river boats providing “supply interdiction coming down the Mekong (River),” he said.

That made the boats targets, he said.

When asked if there is anyone in particular he served with who he thinks about on Memorial Day, Parr pauses.

Then with tears welling in his eyes, which have taken on a far-away look, he responds.

“There are, but I won’t talk about them,” he said.

He also bristles — as do most veterans on the day set aside to remember those who made the ultimate sacrifice for America’s freedom — at being called out for his service or a hero.

“I’m not a hero. I made it out,” he said. “The heroes are the ones that are underneath these stones.”

‘Killed By A Sniper In Iraq’

That’s the same answer Cheyenne natives James and Kevin Read gave as they prepared flowers to place on the grave that will one day hold James, a Korean War veteran, and where his wife waits for him.

Like his father, Kevin also is a military man, having served 36 years in the U.S. Army that includes two tours of duty in Kuwait with the National Guard.

Working on convoy vehicles, among other duties, Kevin said Memorial Day can be difficult for many veterans.

That’s because survivor guilt is a very real thing. You made it home while others didn’t, and trying to square that in your own mind is something many veterans deal with, he said.

Asked if there’s anyone in particular he thinks about on Memorial Day, Kevin said he remembers someone from his first tour.

“The first time I was deployed, I was with one of the soldiers in our unit who went back (into a combat area), and then he was killed in Iraq,” he said, highlighting how the man went back into danger when he didn’t have to.

“He wanted to return and help the younger soldiers,” he said. “And then he was killed by a sniper in Iraq. You always think about those like him — and my mother, of course.”

That was the first time someone he personally knew was killed in combat, Kevin said.

Like Parr, he said that man was a hero, not him. “You support and you survive,” is how he described the service mentality.

At 92, James uses a cane to slowly get around, but proudly wears his U.S. Army baseball cap. He said he knows he’ll someday be buried at the Cheyenne National Cemetery.

“I’m only 92, so I’m gonna be here someday, but I’m not in any hurry,” he said with a chuckle.

James said his military service began like that of the other 1,529,538 men drafted during the Korean War, according to the U.S. Selective Service.

“I was drafted. I didn’t want to go, but I had to go,” he said. “I just had gotten a good job at the railroad at the time. I didn’t want to go, but I did.”

Who was he at the cemetery for on Memorial Day?

“My wife,” James said.

When asked if there’s anyone else he remembers, he gets a look a lot like Parr’s, then shakes his head without a word.

‘They Don’t Get It’

Memorial Day brings out veterans of all branches of military service from many generations, and all have their own unique stories, experiences and memories, Parr said.

“In some ways, they had it rougher than we did,” he said about those in wars before his, Korea and World War II. “And in other ways they didn’t have it as good. You know, every war is different.”

Veterans who served in James’ time will tell about “how they froze their asses off in Korea, and they also froze their butts off in the Ardennes and Battle of the Bulge.

“Then, you know, we sweated ours off over in Vietnam.”

While it’s difficult to talk about those you know or watched die in defense of freedom, Parr said he does get a little disappointed at how sparsely attended Memorial Day ceremonies tend to be.

Those who first think of Memorial Day as a day off from work and a long weekend miss the point, he said.

“They don’t get it, in all probability,” Parr said. “Those people either never served or never had anybody in their family who did, because I guarantee you every veteran today will be at one of these ceremonies.”

Greg Johnson can be reached at greg@cowboystatedaily.com.