During her closing statement at last week’s forum in Sheridan, Constitution Party gubernatorial nominee Rebecca Bextel implied Gov. Mark Gordon isn’t smart.
Then she twice used a crude comparison regarding whether Gordon and Republican nominee Eric Barlow had enough “balls.”
The profanity wasn’t my larger concern.
The audience had given her its time and attention. A closing statement is a chance to tell voters why they should support her.
She spent much of hers attacking other people.
That says something about respect for the audience.
So do the apparent general-election strategies of Republican Senate nominee, Harriet Hageman, and U.S. House nominee Chuck Gray. Neither plans to attend the PBS debate next month; both said they’re going to speak directly to the voters now.
Now that they’ve won the coveted GOP nominations.
Missing the occasional event is one thing: making a whole general-election strategy of not facing your opponents before the public is something else entirely. Taking voters seriously means showing up even when you don’t think you need to.
PBS canceled the Senate debate because Democratic nominee James Byrd was the only participating candidate. The House debate will proceed with Gray’s three opponents.
If you’re asking for people’s votes, facing them and their questions comes with the territory.
Respect matters online too.
We disagree with an idea, so we label the person. The label replaces the argument. We assign motives. We question intelligence or character. Before long, we’ve decided nothing the person says deserves consideration.
Meaningful discussion ends there.
Another intelligent, decent person might hear the same information you heard and reach a different conclusion honestly. Respect leaves room for that possibility.
And this is where the responsibility lands on each of us.
You don’t control the candidate at the forum, the elected official at the meeting, or the person on Facebook. You control whether you listen. You control whether you use a nickname instead of an argument. You control whether you excuse conduct from someone you support while condemning the same conduct from someone you oppose.
You also control whether another person’s contempt determines your behavior.
My thoughts wander back to childhood, when my mother once told my sister and me, “If you clean floors at the YMCA, make sure those floors are spotless.”
At the time, I heard a lesson about taking pride in your work. Years later, I hear something more: Respect the responsibility you’ve accepted, no matter how important anyone else thinks the job is.
The lesson on cleaning floors applies also to holding public office, asking for someone’s vote, speaking at a public meeting, or posting your opinion online.
I don’t believe respect has to be earned before we give any. Regard is earned. Trust is earned. Admiration is earned. Agreement is optional.
Respect starts earlier. It begins with recognizing another person as worthy of being heard and treated with basic dignity.
That’s different from civility.
You might be angry and respectful. You might speak bluntly and still listen. You might call someone’s conduct dishonest, reckless, or harmful without treating them as unworthy of being heard. You might acknowledge a valid point and still reject the conclusion.
I learned another part of this lesson in 1974.
I was 17, a high school senior, in Rapid City with my mother for a physical required for my Air Force ROTC application. We watched the State of the Union from our motel room.
The voice announced, “the President of the United States.”
The camera panned across members of Congress. Sen. Ted Kennedy stood with his arms crossed.
That image stayed with me. The announcement wasn’t “Richard Milhous Nixon.” It named the President of the United States.
There’s a difference between respecting an office and respecting the person holding it.
An office carries authority because we’ve placed responsibility there. The person holding it still earns, keeps, or loses your trust and regard through words and actions.
And the obligation runs both ways.
Holding office doesn’t place anyone above the people who granted that authority. It creates a responsibility to listen to them, answer to them, and respect the processes designed to let them participate.
Even if that’s just a time limit at a county commission meeting. Honoring the rules when it’s finally your turn at the microphone.
My mother’s lesson about spotless floors was never really about floors.
It was about respecting the responsibility in front of you.
Wherever you stand this fall, at a microphone, in a meeting, or behind a keyboard, leave the floor spotless.
It was about respecting the responsibility in front of you.
Wherever you stand this fall, at a microphone, in a meeting, or behind a keyboard, leave the floor spotless.
Gail Symons can be reached at gailsymons@mac.com
