JACKSON — There’s a distinct moment when every first-time Cowboy State visitor realizes Wyoming does not operate by the same laws of physics, fashion, or hospitality as the rest of the world.
Sarah Kelly, from Pennsylvania, and Iyonna Young, from Maryland, learned it firsthand after they landed in Teton County armed with a color-coded schedule aimed at diving deep into their idea of an ideal Western getaway.
A vacation in Jackson Hole was a bucket list item for the two, who are both into cowboy culture and the western way of life. It's something they spent an entire year planning. They read the blogs, watched the YouTube Videos, and plotted an ideal schedule.
But not everything went according to plan for their dreamcation in Jackson Hole. There were bad-idea bedtimes, surprise rainstorms and thin‑air headaches, too.
So they leave Wyoming with not just epic memories, but a short list of insights they wished they’d known before they ever boarded their flights to Jackson Hole.
Living Your Life All In One Night
The first hiccup in their color-coded master plan came early and stayed late.
The two planned a relatively quiet first night on the town, with an early bedtime ahead of a big 13-hour tour of Yellowstone National Park the next day.
That’s where the plan took its first major detour. A detour that didn’t end until 3 a.m.
It seemed like an innocent decision at first. One they don’t necessarily even regret …
“We decided to explore and walk around the town,” Kelly said. “And we ended up meeting a lot of people, talking to different people throughout the entire night. We were having so much fun, we ended up getting back to the hotel super, super late.”
Turned out, their keys decided to quit working, so that meant a trip to see the late-night hotel concierge at 3 a.m. They ended up talking to him for another two hours before finally going to bed at 5 a.m.
This meant less than an hour of sleep before the two had to get up.
“We woke up at 6:21 a.m.,” Young said with a chuckle.
That meant pulling on whatever clothes they could grab the fastest and booking it out the door to the hotel lobby, where their guide was already waiting.
Alcohol And Altitude — A Potent Cocktail
Early on during the day of winding mountain roads and sightseeing, Young made another discovery.
Alcohol and altitude don’t always mix.
Or maybe they do mix just a little bit too well …
Young found herself battling waves of nausea and a headache — not exactly what was supposed to come with the color-coded square for seeing geysers and bison for the first time.
Looking back, both women say they should probably have paced themselves with less drinking and more sleep the night before the big Yellowstone tour — even if they don’t totally regret the epic bar crawl where they met so many new friends.
“Through my experience, some of the must-knows are to make sure you eat really well, make sure you stay very hydrated, and make sure you pack, like, Dramamine because the altitude can really get to you,” Young said.
Too much caffeine doesn’t necessarily make the problems caused by alcohol better, either.
It can make them worse, particularly if caffeine isn't one’s normal “jam.”
“Jackson Hole’s really popular for, like, their coffee,” Young said. “I’ve tried it a couple of times, but I don’t normally drink caffeine. So the caffeine mixed with altitude and everything, it really got to be a lot.”
This Horse Only Speaks Western, Ma’am
Young isn’t a novice when it comes to horses. Back home, she’s an experienced rider.
Many out-of-state visitors to Jackson Hole expect a Western experience, but aren't prepared for how Wyoming operates on its own level and swagger. (Sarah Kelly and Iyonna Young) 
Many out-of-state visitors to Jackson Hole expect a Western experience, but aren't prepared for how Wyoming operates on its own level and swagger. (Sarah Kelly and Iyonna Young) 
Many out-of-state visitors to Jackson Hole expect a Western experience, but aren't prepared for how Wyoming operates on its own level and swagger. (Sarah Kelly and Iyonna Young) 
Many out-of-state visitors to Jackson Hole expect a Western experience, but aren't prepared for how Wyoming operates on its own level and swagger. (Sarah Kelly and Iyonna Young)
Horse Doesn't Speak English
She rides English style. That involves close contact, precise posture, and two hands on the reins.
Western riding, on the other hand, involves one-handing loose reins, sitting deep in a heavy leather saddle, and generally letting the horse do its job while you sit tight — looking pretty or rugged, which ever the case might be.
When Young climbed onto her trail horse, decades of muscle memory immediately kicked in.
“I got on the horse, saddled up, postured and everything, ready to post a trot,” she said. “I held the horse with both hands. And the guy was like, ‘Ma’am, this is a western horse. We do not do English here.’”
Young nodded as if she understood, but that muscle memory kept tricking her and tripping up her horse.
“Throughout this thing, I would do it in my English way, and he was like, ‘Ma’am this is western-style riding,’” she said. “And I was like, ‘They take that very seriously.’”
"Yes, ma'am they do,” and you can imagine the guide saying with a tip of his cowboy hat.
It was all still awesome and gorgeous, Young and Kelly added, and one of their favorite parts of the whole tour. Next time, Young will probably practice her western riding style a little before the trip.
Four Seasons In One Trip
Adding to the itinerary chaos was the unpredictable beast that is Wyoming weather.
“Today it’s beautiful,” Young said. “First day in, I was freezing. It was like 40 degrees!”
It was a wild temperature swing for Young because it had been 80 degrees when she boarded a plane back home. With it so steamy and hot, the idea she'd need a jacket upon landing seemed silly.
But next time she visits Wyoming, she knows it isn't silly at all. One needs a plan for all four seasons in one go because, as the saying goes in Wyoming, "If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes and it will change."
“Don’t trust the weather app,” Kelly added. “In the morning, I checked the weather and saw, like, later today, ‘Oh it’s going to be like 70s, 60s,’ so it will be fine. I went out in the early morning in shorts.”
It turned out to be "freezing" later that day, which had Kelly wishing for a jacket or sweat pants to layer on over her shorts.
Patience Is Rewarded
Kelly isn’t a morning person by far, but this trip she and Young both prioritized getting up early enough to see the sunrise.
“The fact we woke up early at 4 a.m. every single day — and it wasn’t easy either,” Young said. “We’re in our mid-20s, right, and like we work and everything like that. The fact we did this on a vacation says a lot.”
And it was totally worth it, Kelly added.
“Maybe not every day, but at least one day, get up and see the sunrise somewhere,” she said. “It’s beautiful.”
Some patience is required to see the best sights, particularly sunrises, Young added.
“We went to a lot of places that didn’t seem how we expected," she said.
Like the sunrise the morning of their last day. It started out too cloudy to be seen.
“But after a while, the sun came out and everything,” Young said. “So if we would have left too soon, we would have missed out on a lot of things. So stay a little bit patient with it, especially the sunrises.”
So Much To Do, So Little Time
Ultimately, Young and Kelly survived their 13-hour Yellowstone endurance test, the equestrian culture clash, and Wyoming’s moody weather. But the biggest obstacle, one they couldn't overcome, was purely mathematical.
There just aren't enough hours in a Jackson Hole day to consume everything the valley has to offer.
Between the wildlife tracking, the endless trails and the equally endless watering holes, there’s more than enough adventure to run out the clock every day — even if one were staying for weeks.
There's only one real solution to that, and it's a simple one: Just accept the limits those color-coded squares are showing you, and start planning the return trip — sooner rather than later.
