Craziest dream I’ve ever had.
Started out ordinary enough.
Then the folks on TV told us to stay home for two weeks, so we could get the drop on this “novel” virus.
That was OK with us. Good Americans and all that. And with lots of ground beef and chicken in the freezer, we could get along, then watch “The Tiger King” on Netflix.
In this dream, we could still go to the grocery store. But at Walmart they told everyone to stay six feet apart. And they put signs on the floor so you could only walk down the aisles in one direction. How wacky is that?
For some reason, the toilet paper aisle was wiped out for a couple weeks. Then one day there was nothing but brats in the meat coolers.
In this dream, the Head Doctor said we shouldn’t wear masks, so people in the hospitals could have them. But then a little while later he told us to wear a mask. And then we saw him on TV – in this dream – wearing TWO MASKS! Whoa!
So we all wore masks, because we’re good Americans.
They closed schools and made kids tune in from home on Zoom. Gyms closed down.
Our President (a Republican) said a vaccine to fight the virus was his top priority, but the people who hated Our President said that was dumb, and he could never do it. But then they came up with experimental vaccines in record time. (Uh-oh.) And the people who made the vaccines – who hated Our President – waited until a week after the election to announce them, so he wouldn’t win.
So Their President (a Democrat) got elected, and Time Magazine ran a story about all the stuff they pulled to defeat Our President. But anyone who believed they pulled stuff to elect Their President – like Time said – was dismissed as a NUT. A conspiracy theorist.
Politicians sent us checks for hundreds of dollars, all borrowed from our grandkids. They sent so much money to cities, counties and states that they’re still figuring out how to spend it. And little of it has anything to do with the virus anymore.
Dreams sure can be crazy, can’t they?
The military, many hospitals, businesses and airlines fired folks who refused to take the experimental vaccines. One columnist called skeptics “villains” for not taking the shots.
Then some of the skeptics’ concerns turned out to be valid, as the vaccines didn’t perform as promised, and the prospect of long-term effects emerged. Uh-oh.
There was that awful murder in Minnesota, and even though the rest of us were told to avoid crowds, even going so far as to ban some church gatherings, it was OK to gather in huge crowds to protest and tear up jack in Portland, Minneapolis, Seattle, Washington, St. Louis and a lot of other cities.
Crazy, I know, but what dream isn’t?
From there, the dream got even crazier, with people defending books in school libraries showing different positions for sex, educators standing by the right to talk sex and gender to third graders, and people defending trans-gender surgeries on teenagers. Boys in girls’ locker rooms. And drag shows for youngsters.
Idiots stormed the Capitol.
Five million people streamed across our southern border, killer drugs claimed 100,000 lives a year, and crazy prosecutors in big cities refused to prosecute, setting dangerous people free without posting bond.
Our debt topped $31 trillion. Banks failed. A Chinese balloon drifted overhead.
Is this one crazy dream, or WHAT?
And there are persistent news stories – in this dream – that the virus probably escaped from a lab in China. Worst of all, looks like some of our own tax dollars went into creating the Frankenstein virus that sickened pretty much all of us.
Your tax dollars at work.
The craziest dreams – like when you eat pepperoni pizza right before bed – get crazier the longer they go on. You ultimately realize, “Hey, wait a minute. This is just a dream!” And you wake up.
Haven’t gotten there yet.
I’m really looking forward to waking up from this nightmare.