Rod Miller

Rod Miller: Hey, Pharmacy Board: It's Government's Responsibility To Listen

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "The Wyoming Board of Pharmacy, with armed Highway Patrol officers providing security, were at no risk of life and limb from an unarmed crowd of Wyoming citizens exercising their rights under the First Amendment."

Rod Miller: The “Nouveaux Elite” And Democracy By The Numbers In The 307

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "A scant 24% of voting-eligible Wyomingites took the time to cast their ballot in America’s Great Experiment in democracy. That mathematically changes the concept of 'one person, one vote' into 'one person, four votes.'"

Rod Miller: Recollecting Doug !@#%ing Crowe

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "Crowe pulled out the frozen carcass of a muskrat. He blended the rodent with tequila and triple sec into the sixth or seventh pitcher of hooch. Reports vary from 'nobody knew the difference' to 'the dog wouldn’t even touch it.' Draw your own damn conclusion."

Rod Miller: Rumors Around the Ol’ Campfire, Part Deux

Columnist Rod Miller writes: “Gossip around the ol’ campfire surmises a sudden vacancy in the Secretary of State’s office, a new gunslinger in town and scorched earth dessert.”

Rod Miller: The Achilles Heel Of The Wyoming Freedom Caucus Is Cowboy Football

Columnist Rod Miller writes: "If the Freedom Caucus wants to trim UW’s DEI budget, then most folks in Wyoming won’t quibble. But they’ll shoot themselves in the foot if their efforts result in Cowboy football becoming a Division II program."

Rod Miller: Tyin’ the Knot – Wyoming Style

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "It is a little-known and under-appreciated fact around the ol’ campfire that I am a man of the cloth, and am ordained to perform weddings, circumcisions and exorcisms. I have officiated at five weddings to date. All five couples are still married and happy together."

Rod Miller: New Faces Around The Ol’ Campfire

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "Straggling in to take their places around the campfire, our cowboy crew griped about the day they just had. Breaking in a new trailhand is never easy, but today was the first day riding herd for a dozen or so tenderfooted newbies."

Rod Miller: Peevish Populace Poses Problem for Puzzled Politicians

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "As the dust settles over the shifted tectonics of Wyoming politics after the primary, one factor at play in the election stands out to me: voters in Wyoming are pissed."

Rod Miller: Sam Western’s “The Spirit of 1889” – Essential Reading in The Big Empty

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "Wyoming's constitution is so progressive that it collectivized resources like water and wildlife, and preserved them in public hands. Today’s Republicans would hoot and holler at 1889’s GOP and call them socialist at best and Chinese Communists at worst."

Rod Miller: The Wyoming Freedom Caucus Wins Some Big Pots

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "When the voters dealt the river card in Tuesday’s primary election, the Wyoming Freedom Caucus hit some inside straights and walked off with a lot of chips. All the bluffs and tells of the game were over."

Rod Miller: A Brief Refresher Course On Wolf Reintroduction In The Big Empty

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "Over beverages at the Buckhorn, my old amigo Walt Gasson and I reminisced about the 'return' of wolves to Yellowstone. We agreed that it is a sordid tale of western love and betrayal. All it lacks is a high noon shootout on a dusty street."

Rod Miller: Lines Drawn in Wyoming Soil Should Not Be Crossed

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "Two examples of folks crossing a line in Wyoming and suffering for it popped up lately. I view this as very heartening. Its important to know that lines still mean something in a society where it seems that anything goes."

Rod Miller: Political Statesmanship In The Big Empty

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "An incredibly graceful act of political statesmanship occurred in Wyoming the other day, and we all should know about it. And we should all think about it."

Rod Miller: The Wyoming Freedom Caucus Elected Me Their New Chairman

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "When folks who read Casper Planet or other sources of satire wring their hands and whine that somebody should do something about all the lies, they’re correct. And the somebody who should do something is the reader."

Rod Miller: Wyoming Is a News Desert With a Helluva Lot of Rain

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "To call Wyoming a news desert is fake news. More folks are reading Wyoming news today than ever before. They’re just not getting ink on their fingers as they read it."

Rod Miller: Mail Call Around the Ol’ Campfire

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "Joe the Wranger pulled a glossy door-hanger from his chap pocket. It says that Wyoming is fixin’ to be taken over by baby-eatin’ Bolshevik bombthrowers, an’ if we wanna save our Wyoming Values, we gotta vote fer these Freedom Caucus knuckleheads that came here from back east.”

Rod Miller: Wyoming’s Shameful New Political Club – The Cowards Caucus

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "Several Wyoming legislative candidates are refusing to engage in political debates this season. The reasons they give for their refusal vary, but it all boils down to political cowardice, pure and simple."

Rod Miller: This Cowboy’s Hat (With Apologies to Chris LeDoux)

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "Cookie stopped washing dishes long enough to say, 'Some folks can wear a cowboy hat, an’ some purely cain’t. That’s jes how God made the world, and there ain’t nothin’ that li’l sumbitch can do about it.'"

Rod Miller: When Transparency Wins, Wyoming Wins

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "You may not realize it but you, as a Wyoming citizen, won a landmark court victory the other day. The Wyoming Department of Education and its leadership were slapped down hard before the bar of justice for trying to keep secrets from us."

Rod Miller: Term Limits And Vox Populi In Wyoming

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "I hope that the Supreme Court will reject anyone telling Wyoming voters whom they can and cannot vote for. I hope they affirm the right of the individual Wyoming voter to support whatever candidate they damn well please."

Rod Miller: Don Bolles, Nosy Investigative Journalists and Your Right to Know

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "Wyoming needs more not fewer investigative reporters turning over powerful rocks to see what lies beneath, regardless of how loudly the powerful will howl. Too many folks are willing to turn a blind eye toward corrupt power."

Rod Miller: Counting Hands Around The Ol’ Campfire

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "Supper was over and our favorite crew of cowboys sat around the ol’ campfire enjoying roll-yer-owns and the simple pleasures of a Wyoming night. Then the talk turned to politics."

Rod Miller: 2000 Mules Around the Ol’ Campfire

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "'I saw that li’l Secretary of State feller in town the other day,' said Panhandle, 'He was walkin’ kinda funny like he had a bad buck-off.' 'Naw,' Cookie answered, stirring the beans, 'He just got his ass kicked by the County Clerks again...'"

Rod Miller: The Presidential Debate, Democracy and the Law of Entropy

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "Here we are, a nation of 350 million people, living in a democratic republic, and these two old farts are the best we can do? Give me a break!"

Rod Miller: Backtracking For Lost Things in the Big Empty

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "Most horses have some realization deep within their equine hearts that God created them to work cattle and I could tell this li’l guy would make a good one."

Rod Miller: From Beavers to Coal, Five Wyoming Booms

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "When fur trappers of the 1830s stood hip-deep in the numbing waters of Wyoming’s far west side, they began our first industry. International demand for beaver fur for fashionable headwear created wealth where none existed before."

Rod Miller: A Special Session of the Ol’ Campfire Caucus – The Fight Against America’s Silent Killer

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "Sourdough dogwhistled into the night and cowboys’ heads snapped to attention. 'This Special Session of the Ol’ Campfire Caucus will come to order,' he growled."

Rod Miller: Keeping an Eye on AI (While AI Keeps an Eye on Us)

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "My son Vic’s AI-assisted campaign for Cheyenne’s mayor has a lot of folks scratching their noggins. Count me in that crowd. Anything new or unknown creates fear among humans. That’s instinctive and healthy."

Rod Miller: Searching For The Center Of The Big Empty

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "Ask anyone where the political center of Wyoming is located and all you’ll get is confused glances. The political center of Wyoming does not seem to be where it used to be. But that’s not true. The center hasn’t moved. Only people’s ideas of the center have moved."

Rod Miller: Do Artificial Brains Wear Artificial Stetsons?

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "It was an instructive and interesting exercise to 'work' with artificial intelligence to crank out a column. You saw the result. It was hyperbolic, exaggerated and full of cowboy vernacular. Campfire gossip on steroids."

Rod Miller Told An AI Bot To Write His Column; It Came Up With This

Rod Miller's mind-bending experiment of the week was to tell an artificial intelligence bot to study his past columns, then write one for him. This cowboy concoction was its answer.

Rod Miller: Another Nuclear Boom in Wyoming

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "Wyoming might be on the cusp of a new energy revolution that will see radioactive minerals and rare earths supplant hydrocarbons as the targets of choice for our shovels and drill rigs. We, in Wyoming, have perfected the art of dragging ourselves kicking and screaming from one change to another."

Rod Miller: Ebb Tide For The Wyoming Freedom Caucus

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "This election is where Real Wyoming stands up to the carpetbagging, out-of-state, gnarly orthodoxy of cowboy-cosplaying Freedom Caucus interlopers and affirms its roots. This election is where we prove that our colors are Brown & Gold."

Rod Miller: In Praise of Flawed Horses

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "The poor guy had two strikes against him from the git-go. But he had something intangible that convinced me not to ship him. I can’t describe what that something was. Midnight turned out to be one of the best horses I ever rode."

Rod Miller: “Honor Wyoming” Dishonors Everything About Wyoming

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "These Honor Wyoming videos weren’t produced in Wyoming by Wyomingites, and their message is more Hollywood than Hot Springs County. And the folks behind this snake oil show won’t stand up on their hind legs and claim responsibility for their work."

Rod Miller: Fake Electric Cows – A Cautionary Campfire Tale

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "Stetsons were tipped back as heads were craned toward the black sky, eyes following a pin-prick of light that moved slowly among the stars. 'Is that it?' asked Rimrock, 'Is that Biden’s cow-trackin’ satellite?'"

Rod Miller: Tally Book

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "My granddad Kirk kept a small spiral notebook in the pocket of the wool shirt that he wore regardless of the weather. My own tally book was a tad fancier. It was a Daytimer with a leather cover..."

Rod Miller: NIMBY Version 4.0 – or – The 21st Century Invades Wyoming Along I-80

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "The major projects in Kemmerer and Cheyenne will bring trainloads of money into Wyoming. But too many Wyomingites are too afraid of change and they’ll resist them because 'that’s not how grandpa did things.'"

Rod Miller: A Political Focus Group Around the Ol’ Campfire

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "With the race for Wyoming governor a mere two short years away, dusty drovers sat around the ol’ campfire and pondered their roles as political pundits. 'Hey, I know,' said Sourdough, 'Lets form a focus group an’ help that li’l Secretary of State feller get elected.'"

Rod Miller: How I Acquired My Nonpareil Vocabulary

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "I grew up around some pretty salty, down-to-earth cowboys out there in the Big Empty. My rustic tutors would whisper, 'Rod, go ask your Mom what %@$&#@ means.' I did this so often, you might conclude that I loved the taste of Lava soap."

Rod Miller: Experimenting With Political DNA In The Big Empty

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "The Wyoming Freedom Caucus, or Genetically Modified Republicans (GMRs), as I call ‘em, are the tragic result of a failed experiment in the laboratory of politics."

Rod Miller: Mavericks & Illicit Sex Around The Ol’ Campfire

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "Yeah, they got it written in their bylaws or some such. If a cow strays from the herd, it means that their heart’s not in it an’ they lose the right to be called a cow.”

Rod Miller: Fun With the Wyoming Public Records Act

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "If a city attorney - authorized and paid by the citizens - can keep secret from those citizens their legal advice to a city in Wyoming – a city authorized and funded by the citizens - that secrecy violates the very first principle of government that our Constitution laid out."

Rod Miller: Enough Already – Or – The Final Liberation Of Wyoming’s Political Parties

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "The Weston County contingent is proposing amendments to the Wyoming GOP bylaws that would complete the party’s transition from the legacy Republican Big Tent to a tiny blanket fort with room enough for only diehard fire-breathers who know the password and wear the secret decoding ring."

Rod Miller: Big Iron, Little Hips & Gunplay Around The Ol’ Campfire

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "'Where the hell is my big cookin’ pot?' Cookie brandished a butcherknife at the hands gathered around the ol’ campfire. Latigo Lou from Lingle answered, 'That li’l Secretary of State feller, the one that wants to be governor, he took it down to the creek for target practice.'”

Rod Miller: A Broncpeeler in Drag

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "I have dressed up as a woman exactly twice in my life. And I didn’t do it to be sexually attractive to anyone, and I didn’t dress in drag to make any sort of a political statement."

Rod Miller: Bride Of Chucky – Or – Advice To The Lovelorn From The Ol’ Campfire

From the campfire, columnist Rod Miller writes, "That li’l feller who was here the other night, our Secretary of State, is he really runnin’ for governor?” Joe the Wrangler said, “Yep, but it’ll be a tough go for him. He’s single. Ain’t got no wife.”

Rod Miller: An Easy Win for the Wyoming Freedom Caucus

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "Joe Ricketts intends to build a chi-chi destination resort for other zillionaires in a pristine corner of Wyoming, and -- get this -- he wants to change the name of Bondurant to 'Little Jackson Hole.' I kid you not!"

Rod Miller:  “We the People” And Our Marching Orders

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "It rubs me the wrong way when some folks take a phrase from our Constitution and use it out of context for their own political gain. That displays a cynical lack of understanding and respect."

Rod Miller: Keep It Real, Wyoming

Columnist Rod Miller writes "Logan Gilbert pitches for the Seattle Mariners and doesn’t believe that Wyoming is real. There’s also a Reddit group that disbelieves Wyoming as well, and there are over a thousand members."

Rod Miller: Flip-Flops Around The Ol’ Campfire

Columnist Rod Miller writes: “'They’ll mine this gravel over my dead body!!' squealed the Secretary. 'They’ll pry that gravel from my cold dead hands!' The Kid stood and asked, 'If you don’t want it mined, why the hell did you lease it in the first place?'"

Rod Miller: Ban Human Ignorance, Not the Free Press

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "If politicians are worried about surveillance of the American public, they need to repeal the Patriot Act. I’m less worried about Facebook spying on me than I am about my own government doing the same damn thing."

Rod Miller: The Invasion, Redux

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "My message to the Wyoming Freedom Caucus is, if you can’t find good homegrown candidates and you need to import out-of-state ringers to run for the offices you covet, Wyoming sees you. Weakness like that is hard to hide."

Rod Miller: Saving Daylight Around the Ol’ Campfire

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "Dawn was still just a milky rumor in the eastern sky when Cookie started the campfire. Drowsy cowboys snored in their bedrolls, sounding like a chainsaw fight."

Rod Miller: Should Government Really Operate More Like A Business?

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "How many times have you heard someone say in frustration, government should operate more like a business. That’s like saying that if a saw isn’t cutting the way you want, use a hammer."

Rod Miller: Wyoming’s Freedom Caucus Grinches

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "The Wyoming Freedom Caucus should be called the Big Empty Coalition of the Easily Upset, and their flag should display a string of tightly clutched pearls. Their grumpiness is what will limit them as a political force."

Cat Urbigkit & Rod Miller: The Lookout At The Halfway Mark Of The Legislative Session

Columnists Cat Urbigkit and Rod Miller discuss the Wyoming budget session as they see it shortly after the halfway mark. Both agree there are too many non-budget bills introduced and too many peacocking gubernatorial hopefuls.

Rod Miller: Remembering Pat O’Toole, Wyoming Visionary

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "My old friend Pat O’Toole has ridden on up ahead of the herd to scout a new countryside for water and good grass. You can bet your bottom dollar that, when we catch up with him, he will have picked out the perfect spot to rest."

Rod Miller: Will the Real “Establishment” Please Stand Up?

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "Does hot water come out of your sink faucet when you turn the handle? Yep, you guessed it...'The Establishment' again, the ones who built the infrastructure to bring to your home the blessing of indoor plumbing. The Freedom Caucus had absolutely nothing to do with that miracle."

Rod Miller: Rep. John Bear Puts His Foot In His Mouth

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "I hope the citizens in the small communities east of Gillette are as pissed off as I am. To tolerate John Bear as their representative is just like tolerating Dr. Kevorkian as the family doctor."

Rod Miller: Stampede!! - Or - A Runaway Convention In The Big Empty

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "Because of the muscle-flexing of GOP chair Oral Eathorne and the Wyoming Freedom Caucus, the Wamsutter Convention Center and Monster Truck Arena has been designated as the venue for the Convention of States."

Rod Miller: Walt Gasson’s “Craven Creek” – Dispatches From The Beating Heart Of The Big Empty

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "The cottonwood is the official state tree of Wyoming. In his collection of essays, 'Craven Creek,' Wyoming author Walt Gasson makes a strong argument that it is, in reality, the Family Tree that shades us and roots us deep in the thin Wyoming soil."

Rod Miller: Taylor Swift And Trump Around The Ol’ Campfire

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "Right after Jewish space lasers, devil-worshipping pizza pedophiles, Cuban mind-control particle beams, zombifying pharmaceuticals and hidden Sumerian messages in dirty books, who comes down the pike? Taylor Swift, sent by George Soros and Bill Gates. Wake up, people!”

Rod Miller: Zombie Werewolf Commie Voter Fraud And Chuck Gray To The Rescue!

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "As a champion of limited government and individual freedom, Chuck Gray is proposing a government solution to a problem that really doesn’t exist by imposing restrictions on the individual. That, saddle pals, is the epitome of hypocrisy."

Rod Miller: Border Wars and Politics – A Modest Proposal

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "The border between the U.S. and Mexico leaks like a firehose today and 'border security' is nothing but a myth along that southern line on our map."

Rod Miller: Naked Campfire Politics in The Big Empty

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "Hey, did y’all hear that Rep. Wood Chip is gonna introduce a Genital Intimidation bill? It's a law against intimidatin’ other folks with yer equipment."

Rod Miller: Good Dog Henry’s Only Job

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "Good Dog Henry barks at a lot of stuff that really ain’t there. Vampire zombies, Jewish space-laser intergalactic terrorists, ghost grizzlies, undead proselytizers, juju men and political canvassers from the Other Side..."

Rod Miller: Of Milking Stools and Politics in the Cowboy State

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "While it's early yet, it appears that the centrists are noticing that there are barbarians just outside the gates and are pushing back with their checkbooks."

Rod Miller: In Memoriam -- Bob Johnson, Outlaw Wrestling Coach

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "'Coach' has always been a term of deep respect to me. It means teacher, mentor, trail boss and, in rare instances, friend. Bob Johnson was my wrestling coach at Rawlins High School, and he was all that and more."

Rod Miller: The Sport Of Kings In The Home Of The Horse

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "It is a little known factoid that the horse was born in Wyoming. The earliest fossilized ancestor of the modern horse, Eohippus, was found in the northern Big Horn Basin, at the foot of the Pryor Mountains. Eohippus was a dog-sized critter, hardly the magnificent animal that we know today."

Rod Miller: Baseball, Lightbulbs and Carbon County

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "I hail from Carbon County, one of the five original counties in territorial Wyoming that stretched from Colorado to Montana. And I want to tell you why, when we approach the Pearly Gates, we’ll be met by God driving his dusty ol’ ranch truck with County 6 plates."

Rod Miller: The Thousand Dollar Horse

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "The Marlboro Man showed up at the ranch at the crack of dawn with a horse trailer. While we normally raised our own horses, Darrell Winfield had a proven eye for horses and it was always worth taking a look."

Rod Miller: Football Fever In The Big Empty & The Swamp

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "The Pokes will play in a mid-range but respectable bowl, somewhere between the Rose Bowl and the Dental Floss Bowl. I fully expect our lads to send Coach Bohl into retirement by whupping Toledo like the family mule. Go Pokes!"

Rod Miller: Apologia of a Booksellin’ Cowboy

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "I liquidated my net worth -- state retirement, my stock in the ranch, drained my piggybank and opened Joe Pages Bookstore & Coffeehouse in downtown Cheyenne."

Rod Miller: Barbarians At The Gate Or A New Dawn for Wyoming?

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "If the Wyoming Freedom Caucus, as they themselves predict, actually runs the table during next year’s election, what can we expect? Don’t laugh, it could happen."

Daily Cartoon: Wednesday, November 22, 2023

Rod Miller: Mark Gordon Ain’t No Will Kane

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "Give me a break. Saying you’ll duke it out and then backing down? Any respect I had for Mark Gordon as a political leader vanished with his 'lets get it on' followed by his 'no mas.' Maybe he just wasn’t cut out to be a cowboy."

Rod Miller: The “Cowboy Diaspora” & Deep Wyoming Roots

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "When our young cowgirls and cowboys hanker to stretch their legs and see what lies on the other side of yonder ridge, we should encourage ‘em. We should pack ‘em a lunch and let ‘em know they’ll always have a home to come back to."

Rod Miller:  The Kelly Parcel -- Fertile Ground for Creativity

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "Under an auction, the Kelly Parcel could wind up in the hands of some fatback greedhead developer who would slather the countryside with McMansions, strip malls and roundabouts. Or a Russian oligarch or a Saudi prince could snap it up and do God knows what with it."

Rod Miller: Debate in the Cowboy State? Great!

Columnist Rod Miller says he does his best to help with climate change. "...all those bubbles rising in a frosty glass of Pabst Blue Ribbon are bubbles of that dreaded gas. When I drink it all down, I am sequestering carbon in my body, thus doing my part to save humanity."

Rod Miller: The Media Landscape in Wyoming is Changing

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "If you mount up on a tall horse and survey the media landscape in Wyoming today, you’ll see an unavoidable truth. The venerable old institutions of newsprint journalism are mere shadows of their former selves."