Wyoming has a problem with bullying, and it’s not confined to the classroom.
Exhibit A is the bizarre case in Glenrock. Two years ago, Marcie Smith, a 40-something mother, bullied her daughter’s high school classmates until she was convicted on two stalking charges.
It proved that bullying happens even between adults and children. And it’s not confined to the school grounds.
Add to this numerous teen suicides where bullying was alleged but not proven in a court of law. Some of these, like the heartbreaking case of Joran Cochrane, we know about. Many others have been hidden from public view by gag orders and lawfare.
Joran’s mom recently prevailed against officials from Sweetwater School District No. 1, who sued her for speaking up and speaking out. Other parents, known by this writer, silently grieve with the hand of school officials firmly clapped over their mouths.
Gag orders do not prevent rumors from circulating in personal conversations and on social media. But they do prevent a transparent investigation of the facts. And they prevent an open discussion of solutions.
Gag orders only contribute to the bullying culture. As Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel wrote: “We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.”
Parents, school board members, and legislators around the state are looking at ways to address this problem through policy. More power to them. I hope that they are successful.
But the deeper problem - the real problem - is not one of policy. It is a cultural issue. It will not be fixed by stifling speech. It can only be addressed by freeing the heart.
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. made this obvious point, in a 2024 interview, regarding gun violence. “In the past 20 years, there’s been no per capita increase in the amount of guns we have. And yet, these killings, these mass killings, have exploded,” he said, “and we need to look at other reasons for that, as well.”
The same can be said of bullying. In the past 20 years there has been no external change that explains the explosion in bullying. We need to look internally.
What is changing in the hearts of both adults and children that makes bullying a growing problem? Why do today’s policymakers need to take it up when yesterday’s did not?
For an answer to that question, just log in to your nearest social media. It’s not much of a mystery. Right there, in plain sight, you can see full-grown adults behaving no differently from schoolyard bullies.
“From high school hallways to corporate boardrooms, the toxic ripple effects of calculated social manipulation continue to shape relationships and destroy self-esteem, leaving countless victims wondering if they’ll ever truly heal from the experience,” writes the neurolaunch.com editorial team. Mean Girl Personality Traits, “once confined to the realm of teenage drama, has now become a recognizable personality type across various age groups and settings.”
What are these social pathologies? “First up on our hit parade of nastiness is manipulative behavior… Next, we’ve got excessive competitiveness… And let’s not forget the age-old art of gossip and rumor-spreading… Exclusionary tactics are another favorite in the mean girl playbook… Last but certainly not least, we have the queens of passive-aggressive communication.”
Sadly, this list of toxic behavior is on full display not only in national politics, but in state and local politics as well.
Notice the reflexive tendency to label and berate people, rather than dispassionately discuss policy.
Notice the pressure to join in ritual denunciations of the latest victim, and to be recognized as one of the cool kids.
Notice how easy it is to get spun up over the latest rage du jour.
Welcome back to middle school.
If you are as sick of cancel culture as I am, you can refuse to participate.
It’s time to grow up. Unless the adults engaging in public discourse act like adults, how can we expect our children to do so?
If there is one thing that adolescents are good at, it is ferreting out hypocrisy. “Do as I say, not as I do,” is not a fruitful strategy for helping kids to become adults.
It starts with your own behavior. Do the right thing - even when you don’t want to. Say kind words - even when you feel angry. Recognize that the rage you thought was righteous is, really, just mean.
Dial it back. Compliment your opponent. Pick up your tray and go sit with the weird kid.
I guarantee that you will learn something that you didn’t know. And, in the meantime, you will become a part of the solution to the bullying culture - rather than part of the problem.
Jonathan Lange is a Lutheran Church—Missouri Synod pastor in Evanston and Kemmerer and serves the Wyoming Pastors Network. Follow his blog at https://jonathanlange.substack.com/. Email: JLange64@protonmail.com.
