Kudos to Rep. Harriet Hageman for cosponsoring a bill that designates June as “Family Month.” H.R. 475 Supporting the Designation of Family Month is offered by Mary Miller of Illinois and 18 cosponsors. Hageman’s announcement via social media received an overwhelmingly positive reception.
The resolution begins by declaring that “the traditional nuclear family is the foundation of a healthy society.” It concludes by recognizing “the benefit of marriage and family to men, women, children, and society,” and designates June as “Family Month to rededicate our Nation to the importance of this essential unit.”
Every living person on the face of the planet is the product of one father and one mother. To make a baby is to make a family.
From the moment of sperm-egg fusion, your genetic bond to one man and one woman has been imprinted into your genes, forever. One cannot deny family bonds without denying biology. Websites like 23andMe.com can find family even when marriage certificates are nonexistent and birth certificates lie.
Family month is about that child. It recognizes that genetic bonds are more than genetic. Bonds are relational. And relationships, once created, cannot be torn asunder without causing severe damage.
Think about a skin graft. The piece of flesh might have come from anywhere else on your body. But once a graft is created, tearing it off causes a gaping wound.
What is true of the body is true of the family. Babies are not building blocks. And toddlers are not tinker toys that can be connected and disconnected—rearranged and reconfigured willy-nilly. They are human beings for whom relationship is essential.
Whether the mother-child bond is torn asunder before gestation or post-partum, the child will suffer the life-long effects of not knowing his or her mother.
The same is true of the father-child bond. Whether that bond is broken by anonymous sperm donation, anonymous sex, divorce or surrogacy matters little to the child. From the child’s perspective, there is simply a gaping hole where his or her father should be.
Adoption is an imperfect remedy for a child who has lost one or both parents. It should never be the goal of adults to tear a child from his parents in order to have him for their own.
The most pressing truth here is that the child doesn’t have any control over these things. She can’t protect herself from being torn away from her parents. Only the adults in her life have the power to protect those life-creating and life-altering bonds.
That’s why caring societies have always had laws and customs designed to keep mothers and fathers together and nurturing their own natural offspring.
In the English-speaking world, that custom is called “marriage.” And it’s worth spending a month each year to encourage it for the sake of every human being.
We have learned from hard experience that children who are torn from their mother or father have deep wounds that manifest themselves in a myriad of ways later in life.
According to a Heritage Foundation report: “Not only do strong marriages provide one of the greatest sources of human happiness, but healthy marriages largely prevent poverty, physical and emotional health problems (in children and adults), child abuse, and youth delinquency.”
Designating June as Family Month provides an opportunity to talk about the importance of family—and to do something about it.
A good place to start is at the website thembeforeus.com. Them Before Us concentrates on the rights of children. It prioritizes them over the desires of adults.
Once we are clear-headed about protecting the right of every child to be raised by his or her own father and mother, then we are ready to do something about it.
Already, several states have taken legislative steps to help children by helping their parents stay together. According to the Heritage report, Utah and Oklahoma are ahead of the curve.
These states have enacted legislation that encourages and equips parents to stay together and raise their children. For many divorce—like suicide—is a permanent “solution” to a temporary problem. And children suffer the consequences.
State legislatures have also added school curricula designed to help maturing boys and girls think about the family bonds that can be created by premarital sex. This can strengthen a young person’s resolve when beset by peer pressure.
I am extremely grateful for Representative Hageman’s courageous leadership. If a society is judged by the way it treats its most vulnerable members, future generations will judge us by how well we protected the family bonds that every child deserves.
Jonathan Lange is a Lutheran Church—Missouri Synod pastor in Evanston and Kemmerer and serves the Wyoming Pastors Network. Follow his blog at https://jonathanlange.substack.com/. Email: JLange64@protonmail.com.
