I probably shouldn't do this
Last time I did, I caught hell from the social media trolls. The Trump Derangement Syndrome folks were brutal. They had their way with me. One guy posted the green-vomit emogi.
However, as your intrepid weekly columnist (I watch the political shows so you don't have to) , and former notebook-wielding cub reporter in the heady days of Woodward and Bernstein, I'm here to fearlessly report this simple fact:
The price of eggs at Walmart in Cheyenne has come down. Again.
In fact, TWICE since we last talked here about the price of eggs.
Call me a “complete idiot” if you will (better, I guess than being an incomplete idiot – I always like to finish the job), and someone who never took a course in statistics (I stand convicted). But as a simple (come to think of it, someone called me a “simpleton,” too) gatherer of cold, hard facts, these are the cold, hard facts.
Egg prices keep coming down.
They say in journalism that if your mother tells you she loves you, check it out. Mommy Dearest could be lying like a rug. Hook the old lady up to a polygraph.
Well, I gathered the data on this egg price deal myself, doing the gritty, hard work of a street-savvy, shoe-leather, ink-stained reporter.
The news is that the price of a dozen large eggs at the newish Walmart in Cheyenne was $4.97 in January, $4.47 in March, $3.94 in April, and $3.47 today. That, according to my understanding of simple arithmetic, is a drop of 12 cents per egg since the inauguration of You Know Who. We've gone from 41 cents per egg all the way to 29 cents today, a drop of 29.27 percent, which should have artery-clogged egg lovers dancing in the streets.
Now, I wasn't the one who suggested that the price of eggs is some kind of one-stop indicator of the health of the economy. No, over the last couple years, I heard many times, in the news on television and in social media reports, that the high price of eggs was somehow uniquely indicative of hard times.
The hand-wringers and pearl clutchers suggested that the cruel price of eggs could even ruin Easter, as simple folk couldn't afford eggs to color this year.
They made such a big deal about eggs that in January I started jotting down the price of a dozen every time I swung around the back corner of our local Walmart, where they keep the eggs.(Hey, everyone needs a hobby.) And then, a couple weeks ago, I dutifully reported my findings here.
One well-meaning reader on Facebook suggested that I was indulging in satire, writing such a thing. To which I replied, “What's wrong with reporting the prices we're actually paying for a dozen eggs?” There was nothing Jonathon Swift about it.
But we're so used to everything being so blasted complicated when it comes to politics, and there being a counter-argument for every argument, that reporting simple math can be seen as falling for what someone wants you to believe.
In the minds of some, reporting this simple 12-cent drop in the price of an egg throws you into the ranks of the pro-Trump lunatics who want to make America great again. (Imagine such a thing.) The trolls have no intention of making America great again, and accuse Trump supporters of being gullible, useful idiots doing the evil work of sticky-fingered oligarchs.
One guy on Facebook called me Trump's “cuddle buddy.”
(Haven't these people ever heard about not shooting the messenger?)
The good news, which we should sometimes feel good about, is that we got through Easter at $3.94 a dozen, and I don't know anyone who deprived a kid of an Easter Egg at the price. And now, at $3.47 a dozen, it's even better.
We should be whipping up tasty omelets for breakfast, baking cakes, and feasting on egg-salad sandwiches in celebration. Maybe Trump had something to do with it. Maybe not.
Whatever.
Leading to the question I've asked many times in this column:
Is this a great country, or what?
Dave Simpson can be reached at: DaveSimpson145@hotmail.com
