Famed Jackson Lawyer Gerry Spence says that folks my age are entering a time of their lives called “profound middle age.”
Most of us oldsters still consider ourselves middle-aged, even though we now have children and even grandchildren, who are entering middle-age.
So how can this be?
Well, as the old saw goes, age is a state of mind. It really is.
And Gerry, who turned 95 in January, is proof positive of this. I always loved his books, especially the one about how to win every argument without making the other side mad.
And those golden years: I was sharing with a group of youngsters, County Commissioner Mike Jones 67, Plumber Bill Jones 65, and Professor John Freeh 68, that the years between 65 and 75 were probably the best years of our lives.
We were free of major responsibilities, had a little money saved up, could travel, we were relatively healthy, and overall, life was pretty doggone carefree.
Those were truly our golden years. Since then, a few health issues have put a little dent into our happiness, but it did not stop me from telling these youngsters about this ideal part of their lives.
The good news was that it was so wonderful. The bad news was that those ten years flew by so fast!
About Your Future
It was 28 years ago this spring that my old friend Loraine Ocenas emceed my 50th birthday party and claimed its theme was: “How does it feel to have your future behind you?”
My answer, of course, was “my best years are ahead of me” and indeed, that turned out to be true.
Now at 78, if someone asked me the same thing at a similar party, I might attempt to say the same thing, but perhaps not quite so vigorously.
Where did all those years go? An awful lot has happened both to me and to the world we live in.
That Was The LAST Century
That 50th birthday party was in 1996. There barely was an internet back then and cell phones were, well, they were just phones. The first smartphone did not come out until 11 years later in 2007.
We had two grandchildren back in those days. Today we have 13 plus four great-grandchildren. We have seen our own children grow up and build lives on their own.
I like to give talks at graduation ceremonies. One of the things that I always tell the graduates is that my over-riding feeling during my graduation was simply: “What is going to happen to me?”
Well, I know what happened to me. It is satisfying to look back with warm feelings at all those events and occurrences which make up the milestones in a person’s long life.
Celebrating our 55th wedding anniversary three years ago certainly is near the top of the list.
But those grandchildren and great grandchildren – wow, are they ever special.
Grandchildren have a purpose in life. That purpose is to show you that you have a hidden place in your heart. And that place is full of love for someone you are just finally getting to know.
Another reason we love our grandchildren so much is that they remind us of our now much-older children back when they were little kids, too.
We joke that our job as grandparents is to “spoil-em and sugar-em up” and then send them home!
Our children might be thinking that we consider them chopped liver because seems like we will travel thousands of miles to see those wonderful grandkids.
Work Was Almost Always Fun
During a 50-year-plus career, I always wanted to own businesses and we were fortunate in having that opportunity. We owned newspapers, print shops, magazines, book companies, and a half interest in an Internet company with our daughter Shelli Johnson and even an advertising agency. The last five years have been a joy working with Cowboy State Daily.
We worked with wonderful people who became like members of our family. It was easy to deeply care about people who worked side-by-side with you on all those various endeavors.
Charity work was always important to Nancy and me and we believed in the pay it forward philosophy. We often got more out of these projects than we expended.
Some years ago, I wrote a piece called “the 20 things I learned in 50 years of business.” One of those was to “love your customers.” We really did love ours, and that is something that I miss a lot now that we are not going to work every day.
Big Boy Toys
Over the years, we managed to indulge ourselves in big-boy toys like a nice boat, a motorhome, and even an airplane.
After flying for 30 years, we quit when a detached retina 18 years ago made that a risky business. But what a joy it is to fly over a wonderful state like Wyoming! If you love this state from the ground, you need to see it from above. I just could not get enough of it.
Recently Nancy and I visited Flaming Gorge where we kept a boat for 10 years. That trip sure made us nostalgic. But our boating days are over too.
Our old motorhome, nicknamed Follow My Nose, is not a toy but a real home for us. We like to travel south in the winter in it to get away from cold and snow. We have made great friends with that lifestyle.
About the only big-boy toys we managed to avoid were horses. We do rent out our small pasture to horse-lovers, so we get to see horses every day.
A coffee klatch called the Fox News All-Stars puts up with me as we sit around telling lies most every morning at the Inn at Lander. Been attending that group for over 50 years.
Our lives have not all been rosy. Watching family and friends get ill or die has been difficult. Dealing with stubborn illnesses has not been fun. But you soldier on and finally approach your eighth decade.
It Took A Long Time To Mature
At my age, I am finally a grown up. It takes men a long, long time to develop. Luckily, I married a very mature woman, who at the age of 19, had a level of maturity that I did not achieve until I was 50.
Guys are just guys.
Face it; we go stumbling along, scratching ourselves in embarrassing places and making horrible noises at the wrong time. We often are selfish and we don’t talk much.
I have used this example before but it is worth repeating: I used to refer to my life as four quarters, like a football game. If so, we are now in the fourth quarter.
Instead, I prefer to think of my life as a nine-inning baseball game. We are now in the middle of the seventh inning and it’s time for a nice stretch.
Bill Sniffin can be reached at: Bill@CowboyStateDaily.com
