Sally Ann Shurmur: The Greatest Sports Movie And It's Not Even Close

Columnist Sally Ann Shurmur writes, "If you watch football and you don’t watch this movie, I don’t know what to tell you. If you don’t watch football, first, what is wrong with you and second, you’d still learn something if you watched this movie."

SAS
Sally Ann Shurmur

April 18, 20244 min read

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(Cowboy State Daily Staff)

One could deduce that this pair of us doesn’t list movie attendance high on our list of hobbies.

Owen watches lots and lots of movies, but at his house long after I am tucked in at my house with a book.

He watches junk — sci fi, action, war, and that cinematic classic, “Tombstone,” which he recites honest to God line by line.

The last movie we watched together at a theater was the relatively recent Top Gun sequel with Tom Cruise. Great movie!

Before that, it was “Father Stu,” with Mark Wahlberg, which was a really good though sad true story.

We have just completed our annual spring ritual viewing of “Draft Day,” the greatest sports movie ever made.

Prior to its 2014 release, I would have been pleased to argue that “Jerry Maguire,” held the top spot among sports films. While it still completes me, “Draft Day,” is now solidly number one.

And I am going to tell you why, so that you too can find it on Amazon Prime before the NFL Draft starts next Thursday night from my hometown of Detroit.

Okay, first, 110 minutes of Kevin Costner. Second, Chadwick Boseman.

And third, the NFL intricacies inside the draft that add more suspense than any thriller.

The whole premise hinges on a lime green Post-It note with five words written on it, folded in quarters.

I am not spoiling your fun, but those five words in my house have come to mean stick to what you know is right, no matter the cost.

It randomly appears in conversation and in my Facebook posts, leading normal people to wonder “what does this even mean?”

The cast of cameo appearances is longer than the list of actors.

That’s another reason to like the film. It was widely promoted by the NFL, giving it authenticity and credibility other football movies have not had.

Commissioner Roger Goodell is in the movie, as are ESPN notables Chris Berman, Mel Kiper, Jon Gruden and Deion Sanders.

Former NFL players Arian Foster, Ray Lewis, Jim Brown and Bernie Kosar are all there, as is Terry Crews from “America’s Got Talent,” rapper Sean Combs and my everlasting heartthrob, Sam Elliott.

The two women in the film are Jennifer Garner as the law school- educated front office money woman and Ellen Burstyn, who plays Costner’s mom.

If you watch football and you don’t watch this movie, I don’t know what to tell you.

If you don’t watch football, first, what is wrong with you and second, you’d still learn something if you watched this movie.

Aside from the pivotal Post-It note, there are three lines in the movie that bear sharing without being spoilers.

The owner tells the general manager, “Defense doesn’t make a splash.”

How stupid is that?

The general manager tells a potential high draft pick, “Don’t Twitter. For the love of Jesus, just stop.” Advice we should all take to heart.

And the head coach tells the general manager, “I hate rookie quarterbacks. They’re stupid and they’re scared.” Truer words have never been spoken.

Maybe Sean Payton and Denver’s front office will mix some fairy dust on Thursday and find you Broncos fans a real quarterback.

Maybe next year I won’t count the days until it’s time for “Draft Day.” Then again…

Sally Ann Shurmur can be reached at: SallyAnnShurmur@gmail.com

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Sally Ann Shurmur

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