Dave Simpson: Sponging Up Those Russian Nukes

Columnist Dave Simpson writes: "We're the expendables, and as the home of Warren Air Force Base, overseeing 150 silos here and another 300 in Montana and North Dakota, we're no doubt leading the list of expendables."

Dave Simpson

May 03, 20224 min read

Dave Simpson headshot
(Cowboy State Daily Staff)

Beam me up, Scotty.

I’ve seen it all now…

– And here I thought being called “Flyover Country” was bad.

Now, however, a little looking into our nation’s nuclear defense system turns up the revelation that for decades, those of us living cheek-by-jowl with the intercontinental ballistic missile silos in Wyoming, Montana and North Dakota have been seen by some as the “nuclear sponge.”


It would be our job, in the event that the war criminal Putin launches a full-scale nuclear attack – a saber he rattles a lot lately – to “soak up” much of his arsenal of nuclear warheads. Our comparatively sparse population makes us perfect for the job, depleting weapons that might otherwise be directed at population centers.

We’re the expendables, and as the home of Warren Air Force Base, overseeing 150 silos here and another 300 in Montana and North Dakota, we’re no doubt leading the list of expendables.

If that isn’t enough to give you pause over your breakfast porridge, I don’t know what will.

There’s speculation on the internet – for what that’s worth –  that our country might not even launch the underground missiles here, in our role of soaking up waves of Russian nuclear weapons.

We would fare far worse than Hiroshima and Nagasaki, because many of today’s warheads are 30 times more powerful.

We live at a strange time. Life goes on. We go about our lives. Houses are being built, businesses started. We fret about grocery and gasoline prices. We plan for the futures of our children and grand children.

But then, life was pretty normal in Honolulu on December 6th.

One murdering lunatic – look at the images from Ukraine – could turn us in under an hour into a “nuclear sponge.”


– Switching gears now, it’s enough hypocrisy to choke a Clydesdale.

I’m talking about the liberal reaction to bazillionaire Elon Musk’s pending purchase of the social media site Twitter. The wailing and gnashing of teeth among those who have used Twitter to promote liberal pursuits, and hamstring conservatives – banning a former president, and blocking pre-election coverage of Biden’s nightmare son, possibly skewing an election – has been something to behold.

They’re frantic at the possibility that Musk could do to them what they have unabashedly been doing to conservatives for the last five years. Or worse yet, people like us could go uncensored. (The HORROR!) Their projection and hypocrisy know no bounds.

Twitter’s top lawyer broke down in tears last week at the prospect that “a free-speech absolutist” will soon be the boss at Twitter. (That lawyer, Vajaya Gadde, reportedly made $17 million last year, and her severance package is $12.5 million.)

Pass the popcorn. This promises to be quite a show.

– At a hearing last week, Rep. Jim Jordan of Ohio asked Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas if 42 illegal migrants apprehended at the border – found to be on the terrorist watch list – remain in custody.

Mayorkas said he didn’t know.

After 9-11, the official investigation showed a “lack of imagination” in not fathoming such an attack in advance, and not “connecting the dots.”

Here we go again, not connecting terrorist dots.

– Meanwhile, we have a leader of the free world who can’t keep his dog from biting Secret Service agents. As he attempts to manage the administrative branch of government – not very well, with only 22 percent believing we’re on the “right track” – he can’t even manage the family dog.

Inflation is raging, gasoline is through the roof, our southern border is wide open, crime is rampant in our cities, and Biden wanders around like a wallflower with no one to talk to when the rock star Barack Obama shows up at the White House.

Instead of going to the border to assess the crisis, Biden’s hapless handlers send him to Portland and Seattle, two of the crown jewels of loony liberal mismanagement.

And yet Biden tops the list, according to a recent poll, of Democrats for president in 2024.

He’s the best they’ve got, and when I read that, I had to breathe into a paper sack for a while until my head cleared.

Share this article



Dave Simpson

Political, Wyoming Life Columnist

Dave has written a weekly column about a wide variety of topics for 39 years, winning top columnist awards in Wyoming, Colorado, Illinois and Nebraska.