By Dave Simpson, columnist
More bits and pieces, as I clean off the cluttered Columnist’s Workbench:
– The term “underwhelmed” doesn’t come near to describing the reaction to President Joe Biden’s planned three-month federal gas tax “pause.” The terms “impotent,” “puny,” and “unpleasant smell in a feedlot” come to mind.
Biden proposes 18 cents in relief for a $2.25 cent problem.
The reaction he’s getting from exasperated folks at the pump is, “He’s joking, right?” The average American buys 400 gallons of gas a year, so three months of relief at 18 cents a gallon comes to – let’s see, move the decimal point two places and there you have it – a total of $18.
Enough for three more gallons.
Every three months.
Don’t quit your day job, folks.
This at a time when it cost me $68 to gas up my Ranger last week. It costs well over $100 to fill a Ford 150, and the impact on truck drivers, farmers, and pretty much everyone else is becoming obvious to us all.
As usual, Biden says it isn’t his fault, even though he went to war with the energy industry on the first day of his hapless administration, to the delight of the $60,000 electric car crowd. (I’m wondering where the nearest charging station to my Snowy Range cabin will be located. Wind ravaged Arlington?)
Gas was $2.39 a gallon when Biden took office, and $3.39 the day Putin invaded Ukraine. That’s $1 a gallon that he can’t blame on the dictator. But it’s all Putin’s fault, if you listen to Joe.
America has correctly concluded that Joe doesn’t have a clue.
– Years ago, a gubernatorial candidate in Nebraska, who went on to win re-election, proposed a state income tax cut that I computed would save a guy making $60,000 a year a whole $19 per year. “Pretty thin gruel,” I said to one of the governor’s staffers who called to complain about a column I wrote. He said I didn’t understand “the nuance” of the proposal. So I checked my math with a Ph.D in economics on the governor’s staff, and my arithmetic checked out.
Nuance my foot.
– Kayleigh McEnany, Fox News commentator and former White House Press Secretary under President Trump, said Monday that her father has an expression for guys like Biden:
“He’s a lost ball in tall grass.”
-Commentator Tammy Bruce on this term’s Supreme Court decisions: “We haven’t seen the Democrats this mad since yesterday.”
– The other day at the Menards in Cheyenne, I was getting supplies to take to the cabin. That’s how I ended up in the checkout line with four boxes of kitchen matches and a gallon of gasoline for my chainsaw.
The lady at the check stand wondered, “What on earth is this guy up to?”
I didn’t look like much of an anarchist though, in my gray hair, bifocals, jeans and Wyoming Cowboys hoodie.
We both got a laugh out of it, and I promised I wasn’t up to anything nefarious.
– It’s a good thing I retired from the daily newspaper editing biz 16 years ago, because this “preferred pronoun” business would have made me even grouchier than I was (pretty grouchy). The problem is that someone who wants to be described as “they” or “them” is just one person. There’s a plural problem there.
It was bad enough when home computers became popular, and people writing letters to the editor wanted to include multiple type styles and sizes, and cute emogis. jimcracks and geegaws. I killed all that stuff. And muttered a lot.
I’m retired now – every day is Saturday. And my sympathies are with the editor who has to decide whether “they” is one person, two people, or a whole ding-dong crowd.
– And finally, if this doesn’t make you laugh, I don’t know what will.
The other day I heard President Biden say that he “inherited a mess” when he took office.
That’s a world-class knee slapper, folks. Try not to shoot your morning coffee out your nose. Breathe into a paper bag until your head clears.
And try to imagine the mess Joe’s successor will inherit.