Ask any member of my family, and they'll tell you it takes three hours and change to drive between Cheyenne and Gillette.
The closer they get to three hours, the more they brag about it. “Hell bent for leather” is a pretty good description of the trip for these speed merchants. (I'm told my daughter was once known as “The Silver Bullet” in Gillette.)
If they stop in Douglas, it's done at the pace of an Indy 500 pit stop. Wham. Bam. Thank you, Ma'am. Hurry, hurry, hurry. C'mon, c'mon, c'mon.
Add another hour or more to that trip and that's my elapsed time to do the regular milk run north to visit my red-haired cowgirl granddaughters (cutest ever) and their mom and dad. (also quite attractive).
You should hear my loved ones make fun of me for my relaxed pace.
The way they talk, you'd think I was Mr. Magoo, peering out from under the top of the steering wheel, holding up traffic all the way from Chugwater to Wheatland.
(My father used to call slow drivers “Barney Oldfield,” a reference to an early winner of the Indy 500. If my family knew who Barney Oldfield was, that's what they'd call me. Don't tell 'em.)
But, I figure, what's the rush?
I take my sweet time, thanks. I drive the speed limit. But I take all the scenic routes.
The drive to Chugwater is a little tame, but not if you entertain thoughts of Tom Horn, Willie Nickel, and Horn's ultimate demise at the end of a rope. Nickel's murder took place somewhere way off to your left on this part of the drive.
North of Wheatland, I get off I-25 and onto Highway 320 at El Rancho Road, Laramie Peak looking down from the west. You wind around through some great ranch country on your way to Glendo, Wyoming's weekend Mecca for boat owners, and where I'm told a bakery once served square doughnuts.
Highway 319 from Glendo to Orin Junction is fun as well, with the reservoir to your right, and long trains on your left. (I like trains.)
Instead of fast food in Douglas, I like to stop further north at Penny's Diner in downtown metropolitan Bill, Wyoming, which once hit a boom-town high population of 5 residents. Less today.
They're always glad to see a customer in Bill, and the Penny's Burger with fries is excellent. A sign on the wall encourages you to have a cup of coffee, because, “You can sleep when you're dead.”
Hard to believe, but there are members of my family who have never stopped to savor the ambiance of Bill, Wyoming, the only town famed Wyoming lawyer Gerry Spence won when he ran for Congress. They always just blow on past at highway speed, intent on getting somewhere else. Quickly.
On the way home from Gillette, I time my departure to put me in downtown metropolitan Chugwater at lunchtime, and a visit to the Chugwater Soda Fountain. I get the tasty BLT. If I'm feeling expansive, a malt with lunch is a true blast from the past.
My other milk run, this time of year, is the drive between Cheyenne and the Snowy Range. I drop off I-80 at West Laramie and take Highway 12, Herrick Lane, through ranch country all the way to Quealy Dome.
I saw a moose on Forest Service Road 104 last Tuesday morning. And the whirly-bird, pin-wheel wind towers keep multiplying around Arlington, screwing up the view of Laramie Peak from Forest Service Road 111. Sad.
If you time it right, on the way home, you can arrive at the West Laramie McDonald's before they stop serving McMuffins. Laramie has great memories for many of us – the Buckhorn Bar, meals at Washakie Center, frigid Saturday afternoons at War Memorial Stadium. And a local paper called the Boomerang.
I agree with my column-writing colleague and pal Bill Sniffin about the joys of getting out and about in Wyoming, especially in July and August. Can't be beat.
And always take the scenic routes.
Even if your family makes fun of you.
