Dear editor,
In this time of rapid change for our country, I have a modest proposal for tackling the real scourge of our streets: speeding. Past government policies have fostered a culture of impunity around this crime, turning a blind eye or using a catch-and-release system that lets speeders off a fine or a warning.
The consequences for the American people have been dire; speeders were responsible for 12,330 deaths in 2021 alone, more than any terrorist group in American history.
I therefore suggest jailing anyone accused of speeding. Regardless of whether they’re going 5 over or 50, they become criminals when they break the law. Speeders often re-offend, so they should have no release date. And they put innocent lives at risk, so they don’t deserve "humane" prisons either.
This program is urgent, so some people in fast-looking cars may be accidentally swept up too. They have only themselves to blame for their suspicious appearance, which is reason enough for arrest.
Passengers are parties to this crime, and they should also be punished without mercy. In some cases, they will be small children (school zones are particular hotspots for speeding). While no one likes hurting toddlers, their pain is a price we must be willing to pay for safer streets.
The new speed limit will be 50 (effective retroactively), so if you’ve ever driven faster than that, watch out – we’re coming for you! The incompetence of past speed-limit-setters mustn’t stop us from punishing people who drove at dangerous speeds, no matter how legal it was at the time.
To ensure no speed criminals escape, we should also jail anyone walking near a road, regardless of whether there’s any evidence linking them to the crime. The road dead are crying out for justice, and if you oppose this proposal, their blood is on your tires.
The last three months provide an ideal model for this public safety crackdown. One accusation of illegal activity, for example, was enough to send beautician Andry Hernandez to indefinite confinement in an infamously brutal megaprison.
US-born citizen Juan Carlos Lopez, arrested while driving to a construction site, was jailed as an “unauthorized alien” even after showing his birth certificate.
A 4-year-old American boy with Stage IV cancer was cut off from treatment and deported because of a parent’s visa offense.
Child development specialist Rumeysa Ozturk is still being detained for writing a 2024 op-ed that was re-classified under the new administration as contrary to US interests.
And the ICE agents who arrested teen Merwil Gutierrez (sent for perpetual imprisonment in El Salvador) were reportedly overheard saying "he's not the one... Take him anyway.”
If we’re willing to go this far to stop visa-related offenses, we must be willing to harden the line on speed. After all, speeding is a much more dangerous crime; 12,330 deaths per year is orders of magnitude above even the highest estimates of deaths caused by unauthorized migrants. It's time to get serious about making America safe!
Sincerely,
Marlis Hinckley, Laramie
