Rod Miller Gets Drunk & Drives Thru Obstacle Course To Show Dangers Of DUI

CHEYENNE — Cowboy State Daily columnist Rod Miller was about six shots deep into a bottle of Wyoming Whiskey on Monday when Laramie County Sheriff Brian Kozak encouraged him to take a few more.

It’s not often a law enforcement officer encourages such behavior.

But Kozak was actually encouraging Miller to imbibe as a way of promoting public safety. The Laramie County Sheriff’s Office set up a closed course demonstration at Cowboy State Daily’s offices in Cheyenne to show the effects of impaired driving in realtime. 

The demonstration was inspired by a 1979 episode of the television comedy “WKRP In Cincinnati” where radio host Dr. Johnny Fever participates in a drunk reflex test to demonstrate the hazards of drinking and driving.

Much to the consternation of an Ohio police officer who was administering the live test, Fever actually performs better the more he drinks.

When asked if he would perform better than the sitcom deejay, Miller responded, “there’s no question.”

How It Worked

Miller had to drive a riding lawnmower through an extremely narrow, cone-laden course while gradually becoming more and more intoxicated over the course of the afternoon.

By the time he took his last run, Miller was eight shots deep and measured at a 0.10 blood alcohol content (BAC) on a breathalyzer, beyond the legal limit to drive.

Lt. Sam Johnson said when a driver gets past the legal limit of 0.08 to drive, it’s easy to see a “drastic difference” in their driving performance.

The liver metabolizes alcohol at a very constant rate of approximately one drink per hour, meaning that if someone had eight drinks like Miller, they should wait at least eight hours before driving again.

Miller hit at least six cones during his booze-filled last joyride, a substantial drop in performance from his dead sober run where he barely nicked one. 

Miller joked afterward that he hit so many cones because he drove through the course too slowly.

“I’m not that proud of my time,” he said.

Rules Of The ‘Road’

Even with a sober mind, Miller had his work cut out for him as the course set by the sheriff’s office was no joke, similar to a training test they lay out for their own deputies.

At the age 73, Miller’s reflexes may have also diminished since he was younger.

Each cone was spaced out around 5 feet from each other into a long slalom line. 

Once reaching the end of the line, Miller had to park the lawn mower into three tight spaces, alternating between forward and reverse, before completing the course. In these spaces, Miller had to park as close as he could to the outside cones without hitting them.

After blowing a legal 0.04 upon swigging three to four shots of Wyoming Whiskey, Miller still drove the course with some success, only hitting one cone.

“The course is easy, but the steering is stiff as hell,” he commented.

His drunkest run didn’t start well, however, as he struggled just to start the lawnmower.

After hitting about five cones in the slalom portion, nearly every cone in the section, Miller then had to restart the process of parking in reverse after immediately running into a cone upon entry. He was also at least a foot away from the back row of cones once completed.

“I would say he’s impaired,” Deputy Robert Mosbacher commented while observing Miller’s performance.

Miller refuted this conclusion, saying he did “better than they think I did.”

"Plus, those cones were in my fu@*ing way!" he said.

Harsh Realities

As humorous as Monday’s experiment was, the realities of impaired driving are anything but a joke, particularly for law enforcement. Driving accidents and impaired driving citations are up in Laramie County this winter.

“Sadly, we’re spotting more,” said Chief Deputy Aaron Veldheer. 

As part of Monday’s demonstration, Miller was given a series of sobriety tests at each stage of his inebriation, just as someone would be given if pulled over on the side of the road. 

Due to stiff winds, Miller performed most of these tests inside. 

Veldheer explained that in situations like Monday, where frigid winds may impact someone’s ability to walk a straight line or stay still, deputies will allow a driver suspected of driving under the influence to sit in a squad car or be taken to a detention center to warm up and take a sobriety test under fair conditions. 

In addition to his elevated BAC, Miller’s eyes also became jerky and glassy during the horizontal gaze nystagmus test, which Johnson said is another side effect of impairment.

“The first time we did it his eyes were very smooth,” he explained.

Johnson told Miller his ability to drive “doesn’t look good.”

What Did We Learn?

Although Miller’s miscues may seem relatively minor due to the jovial nature of the test held in a controlled environment, they show how significantly one’s driving abilities can be altered when trying to operate a vehicle under the impairment of alcohol or controlled substances.

A delay in reaction time while driving could mean the difference between life and death, particularly when navigating icy, wintry roads and conditions.

After the test was completed, Miller was given a ride home from the event by his son, just as anyone should do after drinking. 

Even though his ego was a little damaged from his poor performance on the last run, Miller said he enjoyed the experience and the opportunity to consume a large quantity of whiskey for free, and for a good cause. 

He also vowed that he was done driving that “lawn mower son of a bitch.”

Leo Wolfson can be reached at leo@cowboystatedaily.com.