It is a time-honored journalistic tradition to close out a calendar year with a piece celebrating the 10 best things that happened in (and here you can fill in the blank with your favorite place) during the preceding 365 days.
I’ve personally found those articles to be little more than Chamber of Commerce boosterism, or smug folks collectively patting themselves on the back.
A publication as prestigious as Cowboy State Daily is better than that. We won’t toss out self-congratulatory clickbait like a “10 best” column at the expense of First Amendment integrity. We owe you the truth.
So here, in ascending order, are the 10 Worst things in Wyoming for 2024, compiled and verified by my own research organization, Rocky Vaselino & Assoc.
10 – The garlic funnel cakes on the carnival midway at Frontier Days. These li’l delicacies are best enjoyed when washed down with warm Bud Lite after 36 sleepless hours. Then climb aboard the Tilt-A-Whirl.
9- A trip in a life flight helicopter to Billings after petting the wrong buffalo near Fishing Bridge. A humiliating and painful experience in itself, and made worse by the jokes and the laughter about your injuries among the EMTs.
8 – Endless miles of white-knuckle night-driving in a blizzard on I-80 west of Arlington, boxed in by big rigs that throw too much slush on the windshield for the wipes to handle. This could be your last night on earth, and the truckers don’t give a damn. They have 44,000 pounds of cheap plastic crap from China that they need to deliver.
7 - Your mugshot that accompanies a Clair McFarland crime & courts article, describing how you were arrested for some sordid crime or perversion….allegedly. You forgot to smile, and the jailhouse stripes clash with your tattoos.
6 – The “out of order” signs, and police tape that encircles the Independence Rock rest area as you are on your way home from Frontier Days, with your intestines full to bursting with funnel cakes. And you lock your keys in the car.
5 – Your elk hunt in the Sierra Madre. Uncle Hank gave you that elk-colored hunting vest, because your family, for political reasons, no longer wears Hunter Orange. Biden, you see.
4 – Someone patched up the bullet hole in the mirror behind the bar at the Buckhorn.
3 – On June, 27, 2024, the wind stopped blowing in Rawlins, and all the Outlaws fell over.
(Author’s note- the final two items were in a virtual dead heat for the Worst Thing in Wyoming, but as usual, the Republicans won. In retrospect, pretty much anything to do with Wyoming politics would qualify for this list.)
2 – The gun raffle at the Wyoming Democratic Convention. Due to low attendance the chance to win the single-shot .22 cost $2,600 a pop.
1 - Drum roll, please. The worst thing in Wyoming in 2024 was the floor show at the Republican State Convention. A scantily-clad stripper from Denver stepped onto the stage and the crowd shouted in unison, “Put some clothes on!”
Depending on reader response, “10 Worst Things” might become a holiday staple at CSD. Throughout 2025, keep track of the worst thing that happened to you in the Big Empty, send ‘em along to me, and next year I might feature a reader’s feedback edition.
Here endeth the lesson.
Rod Miller can be reached at: RodsMillerWyo@yahoo.com
