Let's look for Ronald Reagan's famous pony in the pile of manure in next Tuesday's election.
(You remember the story. Give your optimist child a pile of manure for Christmas, and he'll say, “There's gotta be a pony in here somewhere.”)
Imagine the opportunities for humor, for instance, if we have a vice president – a heartbeat away from the presidency – who admits that “sometimes” he's “a knucklehead.”
You never heard anything like that from Vice President Dick “Darth Vader” Cheney, who nevertheless has joined daughter Liz in endorsing Kamala Harris and her sometimes knucklehead running mate, Gov. Tim Walz. (You know, the guy who invites photographers to watch him hunt ducks, then can't load his own shotgun. Now there's a guy you could trust with the nuclear codes.)
In the words of Buffalo Springfield, Trump Derangement Syndrome “strikes deep, into your heart it will creep.” Even in people we thought we knew, like Liz and her dad.
While I certainly would not wish a Harris presidency on our country, it is said that voters tend to get what they want (“good and hard” according to H.L. Mencken). And if the suburban soccer moms give us four more years of Biden/Harris incompetence, well, what better definition is there of “good and hard?”
What could a President Harris do to top the cabinet appointments of Joe Biden? I'm thinking that bald guy with the red lipstick who steals suitcases from airport luggage carousels would be a shoo-in for Secretary of Transportation.
How could President Harris top Biden's appointment of the Defense Secretary who disappeared for a couple weeks, and whose name Biden tends to forget, referring only to his skin color?
And who could ever replace the singularly incompetent Secretary of Homeland Security, who made our borders insecure, flooded our cities with people here illegally, and did such a bang-up job with the Secret Service?
Who does she put in charge of Homeland Security to top that, Soupy Sales?
And how does she replace Assistant Secretary for Health Rachel Levine, who wants to make it easier for kids to get their privates whisked away, without nagging interference from their parents?
Giggling Kamala's cabinet appointments could be a laugh riot.
It's like that old joke about why people like us have round shoulders and flat foreheads. When you ask us if things could get any crazier, we shrug our shoulders. Then, when we see the next episode of crazy incompetence, we slap our foreheads.
Meanwhile, here in Wyoming, our common sense in putting a lid on the political career of Liz Cheney has been confirmed, in spades, with her active campaigning for the Harris/Walz ticket. Her unbridled hatred for Trump made her throw away a solid conservative voting record, and go on the road for a woman who stands for pretty much everything Liz once opposed.
And it's getting worse. This week she called Trump and J.D. Vance “misogynistic pigs.”
It's common to not support a candidate you don't like. Happens all the time. But it's noteworthy when you hate the person so much that you give up everything you once stood for, and campaign with a vengeance for his opponent.
Today, Liz couldn't get elected dog catcher here in Wyoming, except maybe in Jackson or Laramie.
If Trump gets elected, watching Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and Elon “Starlink” Musk turned loose on the bureaucracy would be a joy to behold. And you have to believe that Trump would not make the personnel mistakes he made in his first go-round, shunning the back-stabbing traitors and scoundrels who did so much damage in his first term.
And, of course, he will remain the engaging, amusing guy who often says things you wish he hadn't (things many are thinking). For instance, while his union support was growing leading up to the election, he couldn't help saying “our child could do it” of building cars.
Donald, Donald, Donald...
If Kamala gets elected, there will be lots of giggling, and oddly effusive VP Walz will be a rich source of comic relief. Elmer Fudd comparisons will abound.
And if Trump wins, well, my belief that results - rather than the latest thing I wish he hadn't said – will have carried the day.
Dave Simpson can be reached at: DaveSimpson145@hotmail.com
