Outdoors People Stupefied At Canoe Tied Horizontally On Top Of Vehicle

Sporting goods store owners in Cody had a hard time comprehending a photo on Yellowstone: Invasion of the Idiots that showed a canoe tied horizontally on a Subaru. Both said they had never seen anything like it before and expressed dismay at today's gene pool.

Andrew Rossi

June 24, 20244 min read

Jen Mignard, founder of the "Yellowstone National Park: Invasion of the Idiots" Facebook page couldn't believe it when she saw this canoe strapped sideways on top of a Subaru.
Jen Mignard, founder of the "Yellowstone National Park: Invasion of the Idiots" Facebook page couldn't believe it when she saw this canoe strapped sideways on top of a Subaru. (Jen Mignard, "Yellowstone National Park: Invasion of the Idiots")

Something has to be pretty astounding to shock Jen Mignard.

As the founder of “Yellowstone National Park: Invasion of the Idiots,” she has seen it all over the eight-plus years she’s run the popular Facebook group with more than 322,000 members.

But the photo, at an unknown location, of a canoe strapped horizontally on a Subaru Forester made even her laugh out loud.

She said she was flabbergasted over it and joyfully posted it on her internationally followed page.

“Lewis & Clark they are not,” she wrote.

And boy did people react.

“Good Lord…. I hope this is a joke,” said one commenter.

“They walk among us. AND one of them might want to marry your daughter,“ responded another.

Equally confused were owners of sporting goods stores in Cody, a gateway community to Yellowstone, who also have seen it all.

Hogging The Road

Wes Allen, owner of Sunlight Sports in Cody, couldn't stop chuckling when he saw the photo of the canoe car. There's something captivating in this strange solution to a straightforward dilemma.

"That is the most creative way that I've seen anybody put a canoe on their vehicle," he said.

Allen couldn't help but speculate on the driver's thought process. After all, there must have been some intention behind the decision. One doesn’t accidentally strap a canoe onto a vehicle sideways.

"Maybe they were trying to keep people from passing on the highway," he said. "Although, that's going to reduce their miles-per-gallon pretty significantly. They're going to spend a lot more on gas transporting their canoe that way."

To the driver's credit, two ratchet straps were used to keep the canoe on top of the Subaru. But the security doesn't detract from the stupidity, in Allen's assessment.

"I'd recommend a 90-degree rotation on their boat," he said. “But it turns out common sense isn't so common."

Never Leave The Parking Lot

Karen Richards, the owner of Outdoor Adventures Revived, sells used outdoor gear in northwest Wyoming. After several days of analyzing it, she still couldn't wrap her head around the image.

"I've never actually seen that before," she said. "It's a first for me, but one's born every minute during tourist season."

Richards' amusement was overshadowed by her concern over the canoe's safety and structural integrity. Its position on the Subaru's roof could cause enough stress to damage the vessel or even cause it to fall apart en route to wherever it was going.

"There's no way of knowing for sure for certain, but there's every possibility that the driver was compromising the integrity of the canoe," he said. "And if that thing went flying? You can tell by how they treat and transport their gear that they're not outdoor people and aren't familiar with safety rules."

Richards’s philosophy is to ensure everyone who buys something from Outdoor Adventures Revived knows how to use the equipment they're purchasing.

"Before people transport their gear, whether it's a kayak, canoe or a mountain bike, they need to become familiar with the gear itself and how to use and transport it safely," she said. "This person hadn't taken the time to really consider all the implications of what he was doing."

Had she witnessed it firsthand, Richards said she would have suppressed her bewilderment while trying to reach out to the driver. For her, there's nothing amusing about the canoe transportation decisions.

"I wouldn't let them leave," she said. "It's incredibly unsafe, and I hate to see things like that."

Menace To Society

Noted Wyoming outdoorsman Paul Ulrich said the level of idiocy showcased in the offending photo marks a new high (or low) for him.

"Honestly, this makes the people who drove their camper with the "slide-outs” extended look like they could be in Mensa," he said.

Ulrich said if the driver of the Subaru was going down a two lane road, the canoe could easily be clipped by a vehicle going in the other direction, sparking "instant disaster."

"This guy is a menace to society," he said.

Ulrich said he wished the driver of the Subaru no harm, but at the same time wouldn't be saddened if he drove the vehicle off a cliff.

"I mean that in a good way," Ulrich clarified. "Drive off a 450-foot cliff, destroy the vehicle and the canoe and the driver walks away without injury -- just like Daffy Duck or Yosemite Sam."

"I need a drink," Ulrich said as he hung up the phone.

Andrew Rossi can be reached at arossi@cowboystatedaily.com.

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Andrew Rossi

Features Reporter

Andrew Rossi is a features reporter for Cowboy State Daily based in northwest Wyoming. He covers everything from horrible weather and giant pumpkins to dinosaurs, astronomy, and the eccentricities of Yellowstone National Park.