Dave Simpson: Rare Democrats Spotted In Casper

Columnist Dave Simpson writes, "What do Wyoming Democrats and Weak Sauce Republicans have in common? They both can't stand the Wyoming Freedom Caucus."

Dave Simpson

June 03, 20244 min read

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(Cowboy State Daily Staff)

What do Wyoming Democrats (scarcer than hen's teeth) and Weak Sauce Republicans (still plenty of them around) have in common?

Give up?

They both can't stand the Wyoming Freedom Caucus. Boy, do they hate the Freedom Caucus. To hear the Weak Sauce Republicans and the Scarce As Hen's Teeth Democrats tell it,  the Freedom Caucus is the worst thing to come along since diet beer. Since the Swine Flu. Since Break Dancing.

Since wearing baseball caps backwards.

That bad.

I'm going to throw caution to the wind here and just call Freedom Caucus members “Republicans.” I'm not getting into how “far-right,” or “farther-right,” or “dyed-in-the-wool right” they might be. Nope.

For me (and someone on Facebook called me an “Old Boomer” last week, a mantle I wear proudly), the far-right, farther-right and dyed-in-the-wool right varieties of Republicans all have the most in common with, well, Republicans. Like us.

Not like Squish Republicans who can't decide what floor to get off an elevator on, until they see what floor the Democrats are getting off on, and frequently join them.

We're different. “Draconian” people like us didn't have to hold a wet finger in the air when it came to boys playing girls' sports, boys becoming girls,  girls becoming boys, talking gender options with first graders, old fat guys dressing up like women and acting frisky in front of children, codpiece-suppressing swimsuits at Target, “Gender Queer” in school libraries, grabbing every strings-attached dollar from the already hugely-in-debt federal government, and convicting a former president for expired misdemeanors magically transformed  into fresh felonies in New York.

(I could go on.)

We didn't need a poll to figure out what we thought about stuff like that.

Call us rubes, hayseeds, or smelly Walmart shoppers if you will (and they will), but we're pretty clear on what we think about controversial stuff like that.

And it seems to me that in this state that voted almost 70 percent for Donald Trump – highest percent in the nation – that there probably are a lot more of US than THEM.

When do our “leaders” become as conservative as us?

The latest kick in the Freedom Caucus pants came last weekend in Casper, where the state Democratic Party held its convention (and no, it wasn't held in a phone booth).

They said people like us need to be “reined in,” because we're “a threat.” But with only seven Democrats in the Wyoming Legislature, that's going to be some tough reining in. They better bring zip ties.

One Democrat said passing a resolution wouldn't do any good because it would contain “big words” people like us would never understand.

That's what Democrats, and many Milquetoast Republicans, think of us.

(I have an old friend, a lifelong Democrat, who once covered the state party conventions in Wyoming. He said the Democrats always paid for reporters' meals. But the Republicans made them pay, and the food wasn't as good. He liked to go to the bar in the evenings and watch Republicans try to dance. He said there's nothing funnier than watching stiff conservatives try to get jiggy.)

The Democrats meeting in Casper said they weren't about to support the Weak Sauce Republicans either, even if they think a lot more like Democrats than Freedom Caucus people like us.

One Democrat joked that Donald Trump – who Democrats consider Beelzebub – is “a man of his convictions, all 34 of them.” (Now there's a knee-slapper.)

We'll be seeing a lot more attacks like that in coming months. And I say every time Joe Biden calls Trump “a convicted felon,” we call Biden “a bungling senile menace.”

Here in Wyoming, the anger directed at the Freedom Caucus may indicate how fearful the powers that be are of losing their traditional grip on power.

Could go either way come November, as Freedom Caucus folks have been picking up seats in recent elections, and are tantalizingly close to leadership status.

I'm reminded of a scene in the movie “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.”

Butch looks back at the special Union Pacific posse gaining on them (in this case played by the oncoming Freedom Caucus), and asks Sundance:

“Who ARE those guys?”

Dave Simpson can be reached at: DaveSimpson145@hotmail.com

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Dave Simpson

Political, Wyoming Life Columnist

Dave has written a weekly column about a wide variety of topics for 39 years, winning top columnist awards in Wyoming, Colorado, Illinois and Nebraska.