Rod Miller: Football Fever In The Big Empty & The Swamp

Columnist Rod Miller writes, "The Pokes will play in a mid-range but respectable bowl, somewhere between the Rose Bowl and the Dental Floss Bowl. I fully expect our lads to send Coach Bohl into retirement by whupping Toledo like the family mule. Go Pokes!"

Rod Miller

December 10, 20234 min read

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(Cowboy State Daily Staff)

Word on the Sagebrush Telegraph has the U.W. Cowboys snagging a spot in the sixty-or-so college football bowls that happen this time of year. 

And rumors out of D.C. have some powerful Florida Republican noses out of joint that Florida State didn’t make it into the playoffs.

College football is, in my opinion, the purest expression of a violent and elegant sport. While, yeah, there are wagonloads of money to be made by the NCAA, the various universities and now the athletes themselves, college football retains the patina of being an amateur sport.

To boot, playing for the school colors remains one of the most insistent motivations for mutual head-knocking on the gridiron.

So, it's great to see the Pokes taking on the Toledo Rockets in the Arizona Bowl. 

When I was a young sprout, there were only four bowl games...Rose, Sugar, Cotton and Orange. Back then, footballs were made from the skin of real pigs and men were men. But I digress.

The Pokes will play in one of the mid-range but still respectable bowls, somewhere between the Rose Bowl and the Dental Floss Bowl. And I fully expect our lads to send Coach Bohl into retirement by whupping Toledo like the family mule. Go Pokes!

Now, about the controversy surrounding Florida State. The Seminoles went undefeated during the regular season, but were left out of the mini-tournament that decides the national championship. 

The 2023 NCAA Selection Committee is composed of deep state, globalist Tri-Lateral Commission stooges funded by George Soros, and their strings are pulled by Hillary Clinton and Taylor Swift. 

Furthermore, they hate the State of Florida, Gov. Ron DeSantis and Sen. Rick Scott.

Scott and DeSantis, if you will recall, are two members of the pep squad that cheered on the losing side in the Jan. 6 Insurrection Bowl a couple years ago. They are still smarting from the 60-1 ass-kicking that their team suffered on national tv.

They have a bone to pick with the Selection Committee. So, like good “small government” MAGA athletes, they’re gonna let government sort things out for the Seminoles.

Sen. Scott will raise the issue of Chinese Communist influence in intercollegiate sports in the U.S. Senate in hopes that that august body will find a legislative solution for the Seminoles. I kid you not! A “limited government” swamp drainer will beg the Swamp to help his football team. You can’t make this stuff up.

And DeSantis is setting aside a cool million bucks of state money to sue the stuffing out of the Selection Committee, just like he sued Mickey Mouse. Maybe he thinks that, if the Committee ignores the Seminoles, the Supreme Court won’t. 

If those two dimwits succeed in their crusade, it will change the face of college football forever.

No longer will the U.W. coaching staff need to comb the countryside to find fast legs and strong arms coming out of high school. No longer will those beef-eatin’ kids need to run wind sprints or show up for preseason conditioning. No longer will they need to memorize those baffling playbooks.

Football excellence will no longer be determined between the sidelines by athletes, but in the halls of power by politicians.

This will open up opportunities for our Wyoming political leadership to really shine! Our governor and delegation would only need to roll up their sleeves, strap on their jocks and show a little muscle.

With that kind of display of political power, Mike Pence would have no choice but to muster enough courage to declare the Wyoming Cowboys as national champions.

Rod Miller can be reached at:

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Rod Miller

Political Columnist