Well, according to our readers, Cowboy State Daily’s Bill Sniffin and Mark Heinz are dead on arrival.
About a month ago, the two tried their hand at stopping a remote controlled robot grizzly by use of bear spray.
The robot bear, which isn’t a robot but rather a plastic bear on wheels that can go 20mph, is designed to show people how quickly you must react if a bear comes after you.
Wyoming’s Game and Fish Department is taking the bear on tour across the state this summer and arming participants with bear repellent.
Then the victims are told to stand a short distance behind the robot bear and when they hear, “bear, bear, bear,” they are told to turn around and spray the oncoming plastic robot of death.
There’s not a lot of time to react. And that’s evident in the video the two shared of their respective standoffs — only a couple seconds before the contraption was right next to them.
Sniffin And Heinz Are Dead
Needless to say, most of our audience were not that impressed with the duo. Video of the two went viral and with that came hundreds of disparaging comments.
“The guy in the shorts is dead meat!” Mike Lamere wrote of Sniffin’s showdown.
Will Delao concurred. “Guy in the light blue tee is screwed. Ha ha ha,” he said.
Ralph Cooper thought Heinz would live, however, because of Sniffin.
“Second guy would have been the sacrifice of the group,” Cooper said of Sniffin.
Outrun Your Friend
As the old saying goes, you don’t need to outrun the grizzly, you only need to outrun your friend.
Readers thought Heinz had a better chance of living but not by much.
“The guy in the dark blue shirt sprayed the bear enough where he might only have his arms ripped off,” Tony Roth said.
Most agreed, however, that the duo were doomed.
“LMAO! Only thing that’s gonna do is spice up the taste of the human as the bear eats you!” laughed JC Smith.
“This is hilarious! You guys are so dead!!” wrote Stan Molluck.
The Magic Sandbag
Although readers were not impressed by Heinz and Sniffin, they were impressed by the seeming omnipotent power of the sandbag which was placed on the ground to stop the bear. The sandbag stopped the bear. Every single time.
“How much for one of those bear stopper sandbags?” asked Robert Cooper.
“What if I don’t have a sandbag to place between me and the bear?” Deonte Temple asked.
As of this writing, sandbags have not been added to the recommended list of safety equipment for hikers.
Jimmy Orr can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.