It’s been said that you can’t fix stupid, but hang on for this one.
If a certain tourist keeps up his shenanigans in Yellowstone Park, bears there might get a chance to permanently fix his stupid.
In a colossal display of unmitigated idiocy, a recently-circulated Instagram video shows a man jumping out of his car parked next to a bear (said to be a black bear) just a few yards from the road in Yellowstone.
As his buddy shoots video from the passenger seat, he jumps out of the car and runs directly at the bear, growling, grunting and making barking noises.
The baffled bear turns tail and runs off into some nearby trees.
Then the guy turns back toward the camera, rips off his shirt, flexes and does what appears to be a poor impression of a silverback gorilla.
The video of these blindingly stupid antics was shared on the aptly named “Tourons of Yellowstone” social media.
It’s indicated that the incident isn’t this aspiring emperor of idiots’ first such offence and that the video had been shared with Yellowstone Park authorities.
He’ll Be $5,000 Poorer, If He Lives Long Enough
Yellowstone officials have seen the video and are on the case, Park Service spokeswoman Linda Veress told Cowboy State Daily on Monday afternoon.
“We're aware of these videos and are investigating. The charge in an incident like this would be a Class B misdemeanor with up to six months in jail and $5,000 fine,” she said. “The charge/s could include for example disturbing wildlife, disorderly conduct (create/maintain a hazardous condition), and/or approaching wildlife.”
For his own sake, the perpetrator should probably hope that park rangers catch up with him before he decides to take a run at a mature grizzly and become the embodiment of: Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Mark Heinz can be reached at email@example.com.