Wyoming Tourist Tries Very Hard To Get Mauled

A tourist in the Jackson area gave himself every opportunity on Wednesday to get mauled but ultimately did not try hard enough.

Jimmy Orr

October 06, 20223 min read

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(Cowboy State Daily Staff)

You can’t blame him for trying.

A tourist outside of Jackson did everything possible outside of going up and tackling a bear to get himself mauled Wednesday.

But he was ultimately unsuccessful, although his technique was solid.

The person walked up to a bear, which was actively eating when they are their hungriest — in the fall.  Then he got within 5 feet and started filming. And stayed there.

But the bear left him alone. Perhaps if he was wearing pants made of bacon it would have helped.

One passerby filmed the encounter and gave the tourist some tips on how not to get mauled, but the tourist was not interested.

“Look at this idiot standing 5 feet next to a bear,” local electrician Chris Hodges said as he drove up to the man.

Then he provided the bear botherer with some safety counseling.

“Hey, how about staying the f*** away from the bear dude,” Hodges said.

The tourist smiled, nodded, and replied, “Yeah.”

Hodges again provided some helpful advice.

“Yeah, stay the f*** away from the bear or he’ll eat your ass,” Hodges cautioned.

“Yeah,” the tourist replied again, smiling.

At that point, Hodges was apparently done with the conversation and bid him farewell.

“You’re an idiot,” he said.

Too Much Paperwork

Hodges told Cowboy State Daily he was headed toward the Stagecoach Bar in Wilson, Wyoming to get some Buffalo wings and drinks after finishing a job when seeing the commotion.

“All of a sudden there was chaos,” Hodges said. “Stopped traffic, tourons as far as the eye can see and this fella came running around the brush from the bike path.”

Hodges described the man as “giggly, smiley, and dropped on his head far too many times.”

He said he took it upon himself to save the tourist by honking his horn to spook the bear but not for the most humanitarian of reasons.

Hodges just didn’t have the time to deal with paperwork surrounding a mauled body, he said.

Invasion Of The Idiots

Jen Mignard, the creator of the popular Facebook page “Yellowstone: Invasion of the Idiots” told Cowboy State Daily that Hodges is a regular contributor to the page which highlights poor decision-making by people in the Yellowstone area.

“He told me he wished he had his camera ready for all the things he’s seen over the years,” Mignard said.

Noted Wyoming Outdoorsman

Noted Wyoming outdoorsman Paul Ulrich lauded Hodges’ play-by-play skills.

“Hats off to the narrator for spot on advice and clear identification of an idiot in the wild,” Ulrich said. “Sadly the idiots are a growing population that need to be managed. I recommend trapped and relocated.”

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Jimmy Orr

Executive Editor

A third-generation Wyomingite, Jimmy Orr is the executive editor and co-founder of Cowboy State Daily.