Dave Simpson: These Are The ‘Adults In The Room?’

in Dave Simpson/Column

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By Dave Simpson, columnist

The stack of chicken-scratch notes of future column subjects next to my recliner is getting high, so let’s clear the decks:

– You’ll recall that the incoming Biden Administration was seen by some as “the adults in the room” when they took office 18 months ago.

Is this is the best the adults in the room can do – runaway inflation, gasoline prices through the roof, chaos at the border with Mexico, enough deadly fentanyl streaming in to kill us all, a thwarted murder plot against a Supreme Court justice, prosecutors who don’t prosecute, and a nonstop stream of confusing word salad from our president and vice president? Well, in the face of all that, we need some better adults in the room.

The good news is that process starts in November.

– It’s been dry so far this year on the old wheat field east of Cheyenne where I live. I’ve only had to mow our prairie once. That will probably change with the start of Frontier Days this week, when the inevitable Daddy of  ‘Em All Monsoons arrive. Let’s hope its just rain, not hail.

– I heard for years that Frontier Days was when Cheyenne people got the heck out of Cheyenne, and except to see the Thunderbirds take off and land at the airport, I do the same. Call me a curmudgeon, but I won’t stand in a long line for a free pancake.

– I noted on Facebook a while back that after numerous orthopedic surgeries over at Premier Bone and Joint in Laramie, I now have a favorite anesthesiologist, who handles all my business. A friend from New York wasn’t impressed, and wrote this:

“Favorite anesthesiologist? That’s nothing. I’ve got a favorite PROCTOLOGIST.”


Conversation stopper.

– Luminaries of all stripes are singing the praises of Wyoming this summer, but just about the Jackson Hole area. Conservative pundit Dan Bongino said the Jenny Lake area was so beautiful that he was afraid some would think a photo he took of his daughter was Photoshopped. It wasn’t, and Bongino praised that part of Wyoming as “God’s magnificent creation.” (Just what we need – more praise to swell the heads of Jackson Holians.)

Talk host Laura Ingraham was also in the state this summer, and she closed her show with a video of her confronting a long-held fear of heights, leaping 23 feet from a rock into Phelps Lake. (Sounds cold.) I had to look up Phelps Lake, and found that it’s in the Tetons, at the mouth of Death Canyon, a detail I bet they didn’t share ahead of time with Laura.

Ex-royals Harry and Meghan were also in Jackson. No word whether or not they kicked up their usual fuss.

– Some unnamed Democrat, jumping ship with numerous other progressive rats (ah, loyalty), dubbed the Biden Administration “rudderless, aimless and hopeless” last week.

He, she or they forgot feckless.

– Way back in the 1970s, the National Lampoon printed this: “Soviet technology has advanced to such a state that they now have a flashlight that is no bigger than a golf bag.”

Still  makes me laugh.

Russia’s ongoing invasion of Ukraine – leveling whole cities with missiles and artillery – brings to mind the words of Sam Rayburn: “Any jackass can knock down a barn. It takes a good carpenter to build one.”

Capitalism has its critics, but I’ll always put my money on the country that invents stuff, over the countries that steal stuff that our profit-driven companies invent.

– My older brother once observed that watching our high school football team, you got the feeling you could go out there in your street clothes and do a better job.

I’m getting that same feeling about the Biden Administration.

– South Dakota Gov. Christi Noem hit the nail on the head the other day. An interviewer cited Biden spending proposals “that we’ll have to pay for.”

“No,” Noem corrected, “that our GRAND CHILDREN will have to pay for.”


– And lastly, someone should tell President Biden that when he derisively calls reporters “Jack!” he sounds just like Uncle Si on the old “Duck Dynasty” TV show, minus the tumbler of iced tea.

Not particularly presidential…

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