Rod Miller:  Hometown Knucklehead Makes National News

in Column/Rod Miller

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By Rod Miller, columnist

I see that a hometown knucklehead got some national ink by being busted with the Patriot Front in Idaho. These stalwart patriots (small p) were crammed into a U-Haul trailer as they were on their way to disrupt a Pride parade in Coeur d’Alene when their skit was ended by the cops and they were charged with criminal conspiracy.

First off, you have to be a real asshole to be busted in Idaho for cosplaying a Son of Freedom or whatever. Our boy apparently fills that bill. And he came by it honestly.

For decades, these closed-minded fringe beings have lurked in the dark corners of America – in dim meeting halls in the deep web, in the shadowy places of their tribe’s secret hive mind. And in Cheyenne.

They’ve convinced themselves that they are some sort of original priesthood of Melchizedech, receiving revelations that trump the United States Constitution. They’ve appointed themselves Avenging Angels, sent here to put us all on a firmer doctrinal footing. By force, in necessary.

They go by many names in many different parts of the country. What they have in common is that they think they know what’s best for the rest of us, and they the have guns to prove it.

Well, that and the fact that they’re overweight and have no sense of fashion.

They’ve been here quite a while, and we’ve known about them for decades. One of these extremist groups, The Order, murdered Denver talk show host Alan Berg in 1984. They were from Idaho, but staged their final assault in Denver from southern Wyoming.

Extremism is no newcomer to the soil of Wyoming. Its been our neighbor for years.

Even the Chairman of the Wyoming Republican Party admits membership in The Oath Keepers, an organization recently indited for seditious conspiracy for their role in the January 6 insurrection.

Did you just hear the collective gasp when I referred to January 6 as an insurrection? Yep, those are the folks I’m talking about.

I have personally seen these thespians parading around downtown Cheyenne during some liberal event. They march from food truck to food truck dressed in the latest tactical finery from AmpleDuds.com, fingering an AR with one hand, munching on a taco with the other. Impeccable trigger discipline always on display.

They are WyGO wermacht, oath-bound to Romeo Bouchard. They have the bit in their teeth and they won’t stop until they have restored our Constitution to some unknown place in their own minds.

I think it was Molly Ivins who said, “I’ll support someone who rips up the flag over the Constitution instead of someone who rips up the Constitution over the flag.”

Our homegrown Rambo and his Patriot Front frat brothers showed precisely how much respect they have for our Constitution when they conspired to thwart other citizens’ First Amendment rights.

I think these extremist types want to inspire some sort of patriotic zeal in us, or get us all nervous with fairytales of the endtime. They must believe that, if we could just open our eyes and see the wisdom of their path, that we’ll follow them like lemmings over the nearest cliff.

Maybe they focus-grouped that approach and it seemed to make sense at the time. Maybe somebody got a Big Rock Candy Mountain revelation about how things should really be, and everyone bought into it in the zeal of the moment.

But it turns out to be little more than fodder for satire. Difficult satire, I admit because this stuff really isn’t funny.

And all that these gomers inspire in me is contempt. I hope I’m not alone.

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