By Dave Simpson, Columnist
So much news popping up all around us.
Let’s touch some bases:
– As we enter this new era of Total Democrat Control (TDC) in Washington, we Republicans are going to have to get better at name calling.
We’re what the kids call “weak sauce” when it comes to thinking up really snappy names for Democrats. Oh, sure, President Trump liked to call Joe Biden “Sleepy Joe.” And you hear them called “dumocrats,” and “the dims” from time to time. And I’ve called them “spendthrifts pounding hard-earned dollars down every rat hole they can find.”
But, to quote Peggy Lee, is that all there is?
As our new Great Leader would say, “C’mon man!” This is small-caliber stuff.
Compare that to the inspired work of our friends on the left. In recent days, I’ve been called a “treason weasel” and a “traitor.” (The penalty for treason in times of war? Death by firing squad. No weak sauce there.)
Fellow conservatives are called “MAGA-billies” “degraded specimens,” and “10-tooth rubes.” We’ve been called “a basket of deplorables,” and rustics clinging to our “guns and Bibles.”
Clearly, Democrats have the upper hand when it comes to fresh thinking and creativity in name calling.
Time to up our game.
– If Joe Biden really wants to unite us, like he says, why did he compare two Republican senators – Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley – to Third Reich propaganda minister Joseph Goebbles last week, comparing their questioning election results to the Nazi “Big Lie” strategy?
Was that helpful? I think not.
A good rule of thumb: Whoever calls someone a Nazi first, or mentions Hitler, loses the argument.
I’m not feeling very united yet.
– Did you hear that CNN host Anderson Cooper referred to pro-Trump demonstrators in Washington, D.C. as the kind of people who stay at Holiday Inn and Marriott Garden hotels and eat at Olive Garden restaurants?
Just what we need: Advice on where to eat and sleep from a Vanderbilt.
Cooper has no doubt seen the troubles normal people have seen – from his limousine.
My wife and I don’t get around much anymore, but when we do go out to dinner, the Olive Garden in town is a pretty good choice. But the sophisticated bi-coastal folks – who once had to ask what a “Hobby Lobby” was when it was involved in a Supreme Court case – look down their noses at the Olive Garden.
(As my father once said, “Highbrows tend to have pointy heads.”)
My days of staying at the Motel 6 aren’t that far behind me. Marriott and Holiday Inn Express hotels seem kind of pricey, to our way of thinking. (As the saying goes, we’re so thrifty that we crawl under doors to save wear and tear on the hinges.)
– Speaking of travel, I am heeding Washington D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser’s plea to stay away from her city this week, as large portions of the city are locked down for the inauguration. It’s a sacrifice, not being on hand to celebrate Total Democrat Control of our government, but I’m a trouper.
According to the news, there are 25,000 troops at the ready in Washington, in case of trouble.
(Remember when deploying troops in Portland was opposed because they would look like “storm troopers?” Funny how things change.)
I’m happy to oblige Mayor Bowser. Don’t look for this treason weasel to darken her door. Or, for that matter, the doors of Portland, Seattle, Minneapolis, Philadelphia, Milwaukee, Kenosha, Chicago, New York City – the list is long.
I’ll be staying home. Maybe splurging and having dinner at the Olive Garden.
– Has anyone else noticed that after rioters rampaged through the U.S. Capitol, causing the death of five people and untold damage, that we’re not hearing calls to de-fund the Capitol Police?
If the police are the cause of our problems in cities like Minneapolis and Portland, and the answer is to cut their budgets, I’m surprised we aren’t hearing the same de-fund the police arguments in Washington D.C.
Apparently they aren’t for putting unarmed social workers out at the Capitol barricades to fend off rioters.
My bet is the Capitol Police get a lot MORE funding.
Dave Simpson can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org