Jim Hicks: Explaining Bicycle Tracks In The Snow . . .

A few weeks ago, you will recall, we woke up one morning to more than six inches of fresh snow and knew winter had really arrived.

March 07, 20204 min read

Bike snow scaled
(Cowboy State Daily Staff)

By Sagebrush Sven
(Translated by Jim Hicks, Buffalo Bulletin)

BUFFALO – A few weeks ago, you will recall, we woke up one morning to more than six inches of fresh snow and knew winter had really arrived.

One of the Bench Sitters was diving on DeSmet early that morning and noticed a “weaving” bicycle track on the road.

“You could tell whoever was riding a bicycle that morning was having a hard time trying to stay in a single tire track,” he said.

But those tracks were connected to an interesting story about a local guy on his way to work.
To understand how he came to be riding a bicycle to work in a snowstorm it helps to know how he thinks.

When he was just in grade school, one of his brothers recalls, this guy was working on his bicycle and needed a washer.

“He walked down to the hardware store and found the size washer he needed. Taking it to the counter, he learned the price was five cents,” says the brother. “So he went home and drilled a hole in a penny . . . saving four cents on the deal.”

Smart, but maybe not all that practical.

But to get back to the weaving bicycle tracks in the snow . . . this guy drives an old, smaller pickup with a few imperfections. One of which is that both door handles on the inside are broken off. So he often leaves the window down because he needs to reach outside to open the door to exit the vehicle.

He parks the $1,500 pickup without door handles in the garage and leaves a $50,000 pickup outside rather than bother winding up the window. A while back he backed into the newer pickup and broke a $25 tail light on the older vehicle and did $4,100 damage to the other . . . but we digress.

Late in the afternoon before the big storm he called his wife to say he was going to Sheridan with a rancher friend to “pick up a few parts.”
Apparently the part store occasionally doesn’t close until 2 a.m. And that can make wives a little angry.

As a result, the morning of the storm he realized his old pickup was still parked downtown and asking his wife for a ride might be out of the question. He could get the bicycle down from the hooks in the garage ceiling and pump up the tires in no time at all.

So, as you can clearly see, weaving bicycle tracks on DeSmet Street during a morning snow storm really can make a lot of sense if you know a few details.

Arriving at work, several employees asked why he was covered with snow and his shoes and pants were so wet.

“No big deal,” mumbled Rick as he headed for his office.

And this week Sven had a nice note from Lorilee Peterson who lives in LaCrosse, WI. It often takes a week for her copies of the Buffalo Bulletin to arrive by mail, but Lorilee took the time to write that she enjoys reading the “Sven” column each week.

Under the heading of “we doubt its true—“

When the District Court Judge hearing a divorce case told the husband . . . “I have considered this case carefully, including the cost of living in Johnson County and decided to give your wife $2,000 per month.”

“That sounds fair enough to me,” the soon-to-be-former-husband said. “And every now and then I’ll try to kick in a little extra myself.”

We are told the problems between this couple started after he took his wife to the emergency room last September and the doctor came out and told him . . . “I don’t like the looks of your wife at all.”

His reaction to that was – “Me neither Doc. But she’s a great cook and has been really good with the kids.

Well, that should be enough hot air for one week. The Bench Sitters will try to be serious next week . . . but don’t count on it.

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